What's the difference between a guitar and a fish? Fish are living organisms and guitars are instruments used for people's entertainment

Roses are red, Violets are blue. I got a baseball bat can i talk to you ?

Why did the little boy drop his ice cream? Because he accidently dropped it.

Why did the man stop dead in his tracks? He was on top of a land mine.

Q: Why is eminem such a good rapper? A: well if you want to know its becuase he had a bad childhood experience and and needed some money so he put hard work and dedication into rapping.

Donald trump walks into the whitehouse. He's there for a business meeting with the new president.

Doctor Doctor! I think i'm epileptic! I'm not the Doctor, I'm the receptionist. You're a hypochondriac, now wait in the Que, like everybody else Mrs. Davis.

Your mom's so dumb she has cancer...... oh wait that's racist

A man attempts to rob a bank. The police are called and the robber is arrested for attempted robbery.

A man calls his 23 year old nephew on a Saturday night. He's calling him, in order to apologise for molesting him when he was younger. As he could no longer live with the guilt and shame. They both start to cry on the phone. The nephew hangs up " I can't do this.." The man receives an email from his boss, saying " Lisa told me she's still waiting for your analysis on the new federal cuts and how they're going to affect us. Please send them asap."

roses are blue violets are red and just like you they're messed up in the head

Once upon a time there was a boy who got ran over by a truck. No one cared.

Jack and Jill went up the hill, to fetch a pail of water. Jack fell down and broke his crown, and Jill came tumbling after. Up Jack got, and home did trot, as fast as he could caper, to old Dame Dob, who proceeded to get Jill convicted of attempted murder, as well as several millions of dollars for pain and suffering.

A buddhist walks up to a hotdog stand asks the server to make him one with everything

A Black guy and a Mexican are in a car. Who is driving? The black guy. Its his car.

How many Jews does it take to screw in a light bulb? You wouldn't be able to count them if it were dark.

why did road cross the chicken Niggers love chicken.

Why did the pedophile skip breakfast? He said that he would grab a little something on the way to work...

What is worst about the great white shark? It's hundreds of sharp teeth, strong tail, or subtle racism? Probably the teeth.

A vodka please Sir this is McDonald's Ok sorry, a McVodka please

Whats worse then hell? The guy who commited suicide would know.

what is long black and smelly the welfare line

Chuck Norris doesn't go hunting, he is very fond of animals and would never want to shoot them.

Q: Why did the chicken cross the road A: Will Smiths rapping attempt was suprisingly not harmful to his career as he later played in blockbusters such as Independence Day, Men in Black, The Pursuit of Happiness ect..

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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