A white man, a black man, and an Arab man are standing in a room. Who stole your wallet? No one, you suffer from ALS and therefore do not carry a wallet because you have no way in which to use it. To top it all off your medical bills are so high that your family would be financially better if you were to die and your dream of being an entrepreneur is slipping away as you realize that pitching an idea is difficult in a monotonous drone.

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What do you call a girl with no legs? Disabled

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A man walks into a bar, furious that his son had been knocked down by a car and was now in hospital with a fractured leg and concussion. Another man, who sits on a stool at the end of the bar, is playing with his drink and wondering if his wife had made a chicken curry, since she said she would for tonight's dinner.

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A bear and a rabbit both take a dump in the woods below an old oak tree. They look at each other, smile and nod their heads in acknowledgment of one another. The bear is first to let go of his rather large load and a loud THUMP is heard throughout the woods. Shortly after another and then another. The rabbit looks at the bear for a moment then turns closes his eyes and begins to strain. Finally the sound of what can only be described as a machine gun rattles through the wood. Looking impressed the bear looks over at the rabbit as it pops off its last few pellets. When the rabbit is finished the bear asks "Do you have a problem with the shit sticking to your fur?" The rabbit thinks for a moment then looks at the bear and says "Umm... No, not really." So the bear uses the rabbit to wipe his arse.

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what do u call a black men standing on top of a church. holy shit

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What do you call a woman outside of the kitchen? Out of place.

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That awkward moment where all you want for Christmas is for your parents to get back together but then you realize that they died in a car crash

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What's worse then finding 10 babies in 1 trashcan? Finding 1 baby in 10 trashcans.

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Life

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why did the asian wearing a sombrero buy orange juice at 2am? because hes trying to stay sober and do away with alcohol for good because its ruining his family and he wants to be a good father and husband.

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What did the gay man see when he looked out the window? A UPS truck that was shipping a monkey

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why did the hedge hog cross the road? To get to his 'flat' mate!!

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josh- your a strange boy. liam- yes. due to by up bringing i have been exposed to unusual situations that most people do not encounter therefore affecting how i behave. Secondly the definition of normal is varying from person to person making being normal to every human being difficult to even the most capable of people. Essentialy Josh i care little for you comment. *josh was a black man who died of cancer 6 weeks after this incodent*

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Did you hear about the Australian man who was jumped by a gang of Americans with knifes? He had his cash and possessions stolen from him, and had to spend two weeks in hospital due to stab wounds.

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Why did the parents tell their adopted son to go to bed? He was awake long after he should've been, according to the rules in their household.

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A deaf man sits down puts on his headphones presses play on his ipod starts to nod his head and realises what he has just done

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because you were observing it, thus changing its quantum state and making it decide to cross.

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Why did the old man fall down the stairs? Because he was on his wheelchair.

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Q: What do you call a basement full of blondes? A: A whine cellar.

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How did the blind man escape the mugger? He ran into a bus.

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Guest-knock knock (silence) Guest-hello is anyone there? no go away Guest-looks like there is no one here lets leave

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What do you get when you combine a potato and an apple? A nice Apple Potato Souffle...

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whats worse than falling off of your bike? thats as bad as it gets,try to think of something else

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A good antijoke? Going to the last few pages of the "Popular" antijoke section....

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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