How did the Jewish man play racquetball? With a racket and a birdie.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

a farmer asked me "were is my pig?" and I said ' I got hungry" :()

thumb_up thumb_down +7

what do you call someone who cant breathe? dead

thumb_up thumb_down +7

What's small, pale blue and sits at the bottom of the pool? "An over ripe blueberry."

thumb_up thumb_down +7

How long does it take to paint a house with babies? It matters how hard you throw them.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

A black man, a white man, and an Asian man walk into a bar. The black man says, "My wife died in a terrible book-keeping accident.". The white man says, "My wife died in a terrible lightbulb-sorting accident.". The Asian says, "My wife died in a terrible geography accident.". Soon after, the bar was hit by a missile, promptly killing the three men.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

What do you get when ned puts toast in the toaster? A fucking massive sperm whale.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

What do you call a plane going to Africa with 100 black people on it? A plane, the contents of the plane is irrelevant...

thumb_up thumb_down +7

What happened to the little boy who threw a spitball at the teacher? He was killed the next day when the teacher, who had a history of mental instability and schizophrenia, decided to go on a shooting rampage in class.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Two men walked into a bar. I'm surprised the second man did not duck out of the way.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

What did the therapist say to the other therapist? Your skin looks dry, let me lend you some ointment.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

roses are red violets are blue i bribed a hobo to eat my poopoo

thumb_up thumb_down +7

A guy named John wanted to finish his life. Now he is dead

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Whats funnier than a pile of dead babies nothing child abuse is not a funny matter.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

What's worse than a bee sting? 2 bee stings What's worse than 2 bee stings? The holocaust. Whats worse than the holocaust? 3 bee stings.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

I like the color potato.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

What's an Anti Joke?

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Why did the chicken cross the road? Scholars maintain that the translations to the chickens journal were lost in a hurricane hundreds of years ago. Therefore, the chicken crossed the road for unknown reasons and died knowing it had a dull, pointless life.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

What do you call a car that doesn't work? Broken.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

This guys grandma comes to live with him. While shes there she has a stroke. He rushes her to the hospital and waits for her to come out of surgery. The doctor comes out and says "i got good news and bad news" The guy says " give me the bad news" the doctor says "your grandma has had a massive stroke and wont be able to go to the bathroom by herself or eat by herself, so you'll have to feed her baby food and change her Diaper for the rest of her life." So then the guy goes " well crap whats the good news" The doctor goes "Ahh im just kidding she died"

thumb_up thumb_down +7

whoes considered the best trackstar in the world. the random jamacan who ran onto the field.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

What do you get when you put a blue bucket in the red sea? it gets wet

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Why did the chicken cross the road? This website is terrible. Are you servers from 1990? I hope you all get cancer.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

your mom is so poor that now your family is at risk of losing there home

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops