What do you call a car that doesn't work? Broken.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue. I have to use the bathroom.

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why did annie fall of the swing? she had no arms.. knock knock who's there? not annie.

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What do a software designer, a civil engineer, an airline pilot, and a long-distance swimmer's support team have in common? All of them use angles and trigonometric ratios to help solve problems.

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chuck norris was shot yesterday... tomorrow is the bullets funeral.

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What's large and blue? Probably quite a few things.

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Patient: "Doctor, I have a strawberry stuck in my bum" Doctor: "Well, that's an awfully peculiar place to keep a strawberry. What were you thinking?"

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What's worse than a pile of dead babies? People that make dead baby jokes.

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What did God say when he made the first black person? I have just added a significant element of diversity to the human species. Intolerance between ethnicities will surely prove to be an obstacle in societal progression, creating hardships for many. I know this because I am God.

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Q: Why's everyone afraid of Friday the 13th? A: Justin Bieber's movie comes out.

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Q. What did the Cat say to the Dog? A. "These humans are so jobless.."

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my egg roll

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A man walks into a bar. He says ouch.

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How do u keep annoying children off your front lawn? Molest Them.

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Why did the man soil himself at his daughters wedding? Because he has an enlarged prostate and has trouble sitting down for long periods of time.

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What do you call a man running away from the bus? A man

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Do you know why I'm bored???? No why are you bored Because I am

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A man is kidnapped shortly after being diagnosed with a new type of cancer in his left hand and is also left handed. When he is dropped off after being kidnapped it turns out a doctor hired the kidnappers to bring him a patient. The doctor notices the tumor is still in a stage where it hasn't spread to the rest of his body. The docter then claims to have a way to remove his cancer with minimal damage to the rest of him. So the doctor pulls out a laser sword and cuts off the man's left hand and says,"There, no more vancer for you!"

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Why was the curious black guy a good Lumberjack? He was always axin'.

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What is worse than a case of the flu? Finding a dead camel on the highway with a half eaten lollipop in its mouth.

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How many blondes does it take to screw in a lightbulb? One.

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how does a chinese chick check if she's pregnant? swallows a rubix cube and if it comes out solved shes pregnant

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What do you give hobos? Febreeze

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Why did the blonde girl lie? Because she's a liar.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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