what goes woof ? A dog.

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What's red and can't speak ? A strawberry

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your mothers so over weight that when she jumps in a pool she displaces a proportionately larger volume of water then someone with less body mass.

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Q: What said the first bagel to the other? A: Nothing! Bagels can't talk!

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Why was the muslim surprised? A tyrannosaurus rex bit off his legs.

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-Knock, knock! -Who is it? -Me

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Next up, Sharpi and Ryan take their audition faliure very seriously in "columbine high school musical"

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FUS RO DAH!!!

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Why did the old man drop his milk? He had a stroke.

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What do you do to get someone to shut up? You hit with a brick

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Why did the chicken cross the road? because it looked both ways and saw no cars coming.

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What do you get when you cross an elephant and a rhino? A one-way ticket to Hell for messing with God's creations, you heathen!

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How do you stuff a giraffe into a refrigerator? You can't, giraffes are too big.

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What's worse than being single on Valentine's Day? Finding out your son has AIDS.

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Knock, Knock. Lol jk, we all know knock knock jokes fricken suck.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Why do you care?

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Whats the difference between 10 dead babies and 8 dead babies? 2 dead babies.

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What do you call a magic owl? HOODINI only some will get it...

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Suzie was in a traumatizing accident resulting in her arms getting cut off. Knock Knock? Whos There? Not Suzie.

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Kid 1 "Man this is the hardest poop i've ever taken." Kid 2 "Maybe it's because you ate the Happy Meal toys." Kid 1 "You know what? I think you're right. Commotion ensues as the toilet bowl fills with blood as the action figure has cut the inside of his large intenstine. He is screaming in pain. Kid 2 reacts quickly getting him to the hospital just making it in time before Kid 1 passes out. Thankfully he survives but has to get surgery. Meanwhile, the family dog Buster decides to drink the blood poop water from the bowl and dies from poisining.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I've got Alzheimer's Cheese on toast

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What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? A pizza has cheese on it.

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Q. What did the toothbrush say to the toothpaste A. Nothing you idiot there inanimate objects they can't talk

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What do you call something that lives in a pineapple under the sea? I don't know, but that seems like an improbable circumstance.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops