What did the bullet say to Bin-Laden? Suck it

thumb_up thumb_down -13

What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? One is a human being belonging to a particular religious minority and the other is a delicious Italian food favoured by English speaking western cultures. The problem with this anti-joke is that the facts are not correct, pizza was originally invented and China; however,it looked quite different then what might be considered pizza by our standards, when pizza was brought to Italy it was improved to make what we now consider pizza in modern times. While some people may consider pizza an Italian food, this would be failing to give credit to the Chinese who invented it.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Q: What's blue and fuzzy? A: Blue fuzz

thumb_up thumb_down -13

What did one wardrobe say to another wardrobe? Clothes.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Why did the black man get shot Cause someone shot him

thumb_up thumb_down -13

A young man was lost wandering in a field, when he came upon a small house. He knocked on the door and was greeted by a scary southern man with a shotgun in hands. "I'm lost," said the man. "Can you put me up for the night?" "Certainly," the man said, "but on one condition. If you so much as lay a finger on my daughter, I will shoot you with this shotgun." He couldn't have sex with the daughter because he has severe erectile dysfunction.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

why did the clown stop laughing? because it got hit by an axe

thumb_up thumb_down -13

What do you call a man who has lost both his legs, one arm, and half his eye? Larry

thumb_up thumb_down -13

How high is the grass in Germany? Approximately the same height as the grass in America.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

What happened to the man who ate a piece of pizza after doing a lot of sit ups, while rubbing the belly of a fat man, and feeding his baby at the same time? He Lived

thumb_up thumb_down -13

If you call a quiz a quizzicle, what do you call a test? A set of questions or problems used as a means of evaluating the abilities, aptitudes, skills, or performance of an individual or group.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Have you heard that joke about Helen Keller? No. Neither has she.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Bob has 80 chocolate bars, he gives 5 to his uncle,10 to his mother and 8 to his freind. He then eats 40 chocolate bars. Q. How many chocolate bars has bob got left now? A. Bob has no chocolate bars left. Shortly after Bob ate 40 bars he was diagnosed with diabetes. He then died of a heart attack due to high cholesterol.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

did you hear the one about the gay child molester?

thumb_up thumb_down -13

What do you call a Mexican without a lawnmower. A Mexican that is fresh out of college and does not yet own a lawnmower.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Why did the girl fall off of the swing? Because she didn't have any arms.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

What's the difference between a baby and an onion? I cry when I chop up an onion.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Timmy: "Dear Santa, why don't you ever come to my house?" Santa: "Because you don't have parents, Timmy" THE END

thumb_up thumb_down -13

it was dark outside so u know what i did....went to sleep

thumb_up thumb_down -13

How do you make a boy cry? Kill his family

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Roses are red, Violets are blue. I have a gun! So I KILL YOU!!!!

thumb_up thumb_down -13

What do you call an elephant in a phone booth? Stuck

thumb_up thumb_down -13

What is small, naked and covered in sperm My son

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Michael walked into a bar, The rest of the bar initially erupted with laughter until the his carer made everybody aware that Michael suffered from brittle bones and that he had actually fractured his hip after colliding with the bar. People then understood the gravity situation as the bartender immediately dialled the emergency services. Michael managed to recover physically from the accident but to this day he is still scarred from the laughter aimed at him the night of his accident and is too afraid to return to the bar again in fear of being mocked despite the misunderstanding of the situation.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops