What's red and can't find a family? A fire hydrant

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

how do you wake up Lady Gaga? Poker face

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Why was the boy named Bethel? He had horrible parents that wanted him to live a life of social poverty.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Haikus are easy, But sometimes they don't make sense. Not the case here, though.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Q:How do you kill a blonde? A:The same way you kill everyone else.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

wanna hear a better joke? casey.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Why are plants green? Plants are green due to the chloroplast organelles found in their cells. These membrane bound organelles are exclusive to plant cells and are used to convert sun light to usable chemical energy. This energy is stored in the form of ATP molecules, or adenosine triphosphate. When one of the three phosphate groups of an ATP molecule is removed, the molecule releases the energy put into this bond and becomes ADP, or adenosine diphosphate. Throughout this process, the organelle fulfills its sole function and at the same time gives plants their green color our eyes perceive today.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Q: What happens if you pee on a rock and scraches it on a tree? A: The tree gets wet

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Is maynaise an instrument?

thumb_up thumb_down

Jimmy has nine bags of sugar. He eats nine bags of sugar. What doeshe have now? Diabetes

thumb_up thumb_down

Why did the retirement home go out of business. There was a fire and all of the residents charred to death accept for a couple who escaped but were too traumatized to return to the old folks home.

thumb_up thumb_down

Terry has ebola

thumb_up thumb_down

Like to tell patrick porcupine to stop gaming

thumb_up thumb_down

What's worse than kissy face pictures on facebook? The porn pictures on facebook.

thumb_up thumb_down

A horse walk into a bar. Several people leave, as they recognize the potential danger in the situation.

thumb_up thumb_down

Knock Knock Who's there? The Gastapo

thumb_up thumb_down

batman has diarrhea

thumb_up thumb_down

What starts with F and ends with UCK? Firetruck

thumb_up thumb_down

Once upon a time there was a boy who was 16 and a girl who was 14. The guy is in year 10 and the girls is in year 9 . Alot of people think he is a pedofile. Comment your opinion.

thumb_up thumb_down

A blonde, a redhead and a brunette are stranded on an island. They find a genie, who grants them three wishes. The brunette wishes to go back home. The redhead wishes to go back home too. The blonde misses her friends, so she wishes to go back home too.

thumb_up thumb_down

A man gets pushed in to a pole...

thumb_up thumb_down

An epileptic man attends a rave.

thumb_up thumb_down

There is big difference between helping your Uncle Jack off a horse And helping your uncle jack off a horse

thumb_up thumb_down

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops