So a man walks into a bar carrying a giant clock. One of his friends asks, "Hey, whats up with the clock?" His friend then responds, "A goddamned genie gave it to me, i can't take it anymore. Here take his lamp." The man decided to rub the lamp and thinks to himself, "Gee, I'm gonna wish for 1 million dollars." The genie comes out and asks the man, "What wish could i grant you today?" The man says, "I wish i could have 1 million dollars!!" The genie replies, "As you please." All of a sudden, a studded dog collar appears. Then another, and another. Soon there were 1 million dog collars in the bar. The man yells, "WHAT IS THIS?!?! I DIDNT WISH FOR 1 MILLION COLLARS!!!" His friend then replies, "I didn't wish for a giant clock either...."

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Why do you care what a chicken thinks?

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roses are red leather is black when god made you he was smoking crack

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If you are reading this you are a nerd

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A duck walks up to a lemonade stand and he said to the man running the stand, "Hey! Got any grapes?" The man then realized he was hallucinating because ducks are unable to speak proper english.

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Q: Whats the difference between a pile of dead babys and a Ferrari? A: I dont have a Ferrari in my garage.

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Yo mama's so fat because she has a glandular disorder that makes her fat.

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When faced with an impossible question. I like to give, and maybe receive, an impossible, yet endearing, request/answer to the problem. Sex?

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A black guy, a Latino guy and an Asian guy all walk in a bar. What do they all have in common? Believe it or not, they all liked cantaloupe.

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What does a black man do in the bathroom? He Dookies on bobby

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What is green and has 4 wheels?... Grass, I lied about the wheels

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Roses are blue Violets are red I'm colour blind Which is sometimes quite annoying

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To look at the most interesting man in the world.

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what's black, white, and red all over? A nun in a blender

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Why did the student get expelled from a Christian school? He continually beat other students between class periods.

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A man walks into a bar and sees two girls making out. He orders a drink and leaves.

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You know what a thief's kid receive on christmas? Your bike!

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whats the hardest part about eating a vegitable getting your mouth around the wheelchair.

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Why do white people not eat crackers? Cause it's cannabalism.

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What is a poop on a poopstick? A pile of poop.

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Why is it okay to have four cats? Because I said so.

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Q. What goes "ninety-nine CLUMP, ninety-nine CLUMP, ninety-nine CLUMP"? A. Nothing does.

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Why did the nervous man jump out of a plane? He was sky diving.

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Chuck Norris can get a nuke in Black Ops.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops