What's worse than stabbing your eye with a fork? Stabbing both your eyes with a fork.

thumb_up thumb_down +34

What do a carrot and a kangaroo have in common? Nothing...

thumb_up thumb_down +34

A Horse walks into a Bar. The barman says "Why the long face?" The Horse had cancer.

thumb_up thumb_down +34

In Soviet Russia life had both pros and cons.

thumb_up thumb_down +34

How do you annoy a farmer? Shoot his wife.

thumb_up thumb_down +34

has anybody else just skipped to the short ones

thumb_up thumb_down +34

why did the mexican cross the road? to get to the lawn mowing shop becuase his wife has breast cancer, and he cant pay the bills sitting on his butt and getting a check from the government every month

thumb_up thumb_down +32

As far as I know, the day after tomorrow is going to be YOUR lucky day, because you will be tasting sausage for the first time with your lower lips... No seriously, you cant be virgin, you can tell me the truth, you like 24 or something?

thumb_up thumb_down +32

Is your refrigerator running? yeah oh...just wondering.

thumb_up thumb_down +32

Patient: "So what seems to be the problem doc? Doctor: "I'm afraid you have AIDS. I'm sorry."

thumb_up thumb_down +32

What is the only day of the year when you're guaranteed to find me? The day I kill you.

thumb_up thumb_down +32

Why was little Timmy afraid of his dentist? Because he was 10 foot scorpion.

thumb_up thumb_down +30

What is the difference between my dog and my girlfriend? I love my dog

thumb_up thumb_down +30

Johnny tried talking to his dog, there was no response.

thumb_up thumb_down +30

A turtle and a rabbit are having a race. The rabbit goes really fast and sees the turtle so far away. So the rabbit takes a short nap and waits for the turtle for a little challenge. Suddenly the rabbit wakes up and sees the turtle about to cross the finish line. The rabbit runs as fast as he can, but it was too late. A bus runs them over and they both die.

thumb_up thumb_down +30

A bear walks into a bar and kills every one

thumb_up thumb_down +30

What is intangible and has every color on the rainbow? A rainbow.

thumb_up thumb_down +30

Your mamas so old she died of old age, R.I.P.

thumb_up thumb_down +30

FUS RO DAH!!!

thumb_up thumb_down +30

Why did the boy fall out of the tree? He died

thumb_up thumb_down +30

knock knok whos there? Jacob Jacob who? U know, your friend!

thumb_up thumb_down +30

Q: Who wants a chick with big breasts? A: Everyone apparently, because chickens are being genetically engineered that way because people are racist about what part of the chicken then want to eat. The white meat or the dark meat. Guess what? Now they can't walk because they are top heavy. And who's fault is that? The people who only eat the white meat.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

What happens when your scared half to death...twice!!? Nothing, being scared half to death is an expression, you should not be fearing for your life.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

You wanna hear a clean joke? Mary takes a bath with bubbles. Wanna hear a dirty joke? Bubbles is a man.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops