roses are red unless they are the pink ones oh yeah they're also pretty expensive

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A dying man walked into a shop and started to look at the clothing on display. Then he died.

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Whats the difference between a fish and whale? Ones bigger than the other.

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A man agreed with a camel. The camel didn't agree. ... (This joke does only make sense in the Dutch language.)

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What's the difference between 31 dead hookers and a Lamborghini? One is a traumatizing tragedy that left at least 31 poor families mourning for their loved ones, whom were only trying to make a living in what is a terrible economy and were unable find a better job, and the other is an overpriced sports car.

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give me a thumbs up

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guess what What? Apsolutly nothing

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There is a very old lady at the bottom of a long flight of steep stairs with a large amount of groceries piled up in her hands. How did she make it to the top?? She walked.

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why did the mexican cross the road? Becuase his other one was stolen by a Black.

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What happens when you give a boy a cookie? He falls asleep and his parents think he was kidnapped by a serial killer.

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A man walks into a bar. It's a fine establishment. He orders a couple of beers and takes a cab home like a responsible man would. He is then killed with a croquet mallet.

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Haikus are easy But they often dont make sense flying flamingos

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How do you kill Chuck Norris. Shoot him in the face

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Your mother is so bad at cooking that people often remark on how bad at cooking she is.

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Did the single mother survive the plane crash? No.

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What is brown and woody? Brown wood.

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What looks like a lion, sounds like a lion, and feels like a lion? A lion Ba dum chh

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How do you make a plumber sad? You murder his family.

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There's an african american, a latino, and an asian man riding in the car, whos driving? Obciously one of the three

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What's johnny's favorite bedtime story? The sound of the subway. Johnny and his father are homeless and can't afford bedtime stories

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Q. Whats blue and looks like a bucket? A. a blue bucket Q. whats green and looks like a bucket? A. a blue bucket in disguise.

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A man walks into a bar... And orders a glass of beer to cool himself off after a long day at the quarry.

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Your mum's so fat that she's incredibly lucky she has a loving and supportive husband who values her personality over her appearance.

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whats long, black, and smells like shit? a big turd

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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