What is black and white and red all over? A nun that just fell down the stairs.

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Jack Stevens

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What do you call a white guy surrounded by 5 black guys? The president. -Harrison

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Do you like waffles yeah we like waffles do you like pancakes do you like french toast yeah we like french toast dododododod let me get a mouth full. WAFFLES!!!!!!!

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ROSES ARE RED FRIENDS ARE FRIENDS, NO MUTUAL FRIEND, WHO THE FUCK ARE YOU TRYING TO ADD ME ON FACEBOOK BITCH!

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A man named Carl walks into a bar and sees another man named Ed who has purple skin and is holding a chinchilla in one hand and a policeman's helmet in the other. Carl approaches Ed and asks, "Why is your skin purple and why are you holding a chinchilla in one hand and a policeman's helmet in the other?" Ed replies stating, "Well its actually a pretty funny story. I was sailing near cape cod and a saw a large whale jump out of the water, and that gave me a really good idea. So I sailed home immediately and wrote a very detailed novel about my days in Vietnam. The book was a success and I was able to make a large amount of money. However, unfortunately I became addicted to cocaine and wasted all of my money and had to live on the streets. Since then, I have cleaned up my act and am working again and have a house. I decided to treat myself to a night out and so I came here and painted myself purple. Then, I found this chinchilla and policeman's helmet on the floor and decided to hold onto it until I find the owner. Now that I think about it, that story isn't very funny. I apologize." Carl then accepted the apology and the two had a drink together and are still good friends today.

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What's black and white and red all over? A newspaper painted red.

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How long is a china man?

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What do you get when you cross a squirrel and lasagna? I don't know,I'm asking you the question.

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How do you fit four gay on a bar stool? Divide the given space into fourths and convince them to share it accordingly. However, due to the fact that bar stools are significantly smaller than the average chair, and the likelihood that the bar has the resources to provide chairs for all of their customers, it would be highly unlikely that the men would choose be remain seated in such an inconvenient manner.

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Q: How many flies does it take to screw in a light bulb? A: Well considering the weight of a fly is 1.2 grams, and the weight of a light bulb is 50 grams (and this is assuming that the fly can lift its own body weight) it would take 41.6 flies. But also considering the fact, that the .6th of a fly is impossible, because it is more than likely to be deceased, it is impossible for flies to screw in a light bulb.

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A priest enters a bar moments after a young teen walks into the same bar. The priest scolds the teen and warns him of the possibility of arrest, alcoholism, and otherwise damaging consequences. The teen apologizes to the bartender, and much later in life, he thanks the priest.

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A black man and his mexican friend walk into a bar. The black man orders a drink and the mexican gets soda. He is the designated driver

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Knock Knock: There is no one in here! GTFO! Okay, yes sir or mam Moral: I told you there is no one here, gtfo already!

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A man with a blue house wears a blue shirt and wears blue jeans. Someone from a red house with a red shirt knocks on his door. He is invited in because they are friends and both have a wonderful time.

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There was a man who entered a local paper's pun contest. He sent in ten different puns, in the hope that at least one of the puns would win. On of them was moderately amusing and took home the modest prize.

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Why did the man starve to death? He had no food.

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I was watching this movie..... its over now.

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your a vagina says you, your a booby

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

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why are balck people black because they are

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Somebody stole my goat, now I can't enter it in the fair

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Two peanuts were walking down the street, one was assaulted, the other was brutally raped.

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Do you know how to forget? No. Me either, I forgot.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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