What did the man say while he was in surgery? Nothing, he was in surgery.

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Why did the maid have to clean feces off the wall? Because I shit cannoned it.

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A blonde, ginger, and brunette took the SAT. They all performed successfully and were admitted into their colleges of choice.

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What's the worst part of being a black Jew? That is a very uncommon combination of race and religion, therefore causing obvious confusion.

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Why did the girl fall off of her highchair? Her father threw an axe at her.

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Ever heard nobobys perfect well ill name my kid nobody therefore he will perfect

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What do you can a stinky mexican? Whatevet his name may be. Possibly Jose

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What name does Steve Bartman go by Now? Steve Bartman, but he just hides all day trying not to be killed.

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did you hear about the guy who got his left leg and left arm cut off? he suffered severe blood loss and is most likely dead.

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Fart

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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A man is kidnapped shortly after being diagnosed with a new type of cancer in his left hand and is also left handed. When he is dropped off after being kidnapped it turns out a doctor hired the kidnappers to bring him a patient. The doctor notices the tumor is still in a stage where it hasn't spread to the rest of his body. The docter then claims to have a way to remove his cancer with minimal damage to the rest of him. So the doctor pulls out a laser sword and cuts off the man's left hand and says,"There, no more vancer for you!"

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Why did I get thumbs down from everyone? Answer: Because they hate my anti-joke.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to your house Knock knock Who's there? The chicken

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Why did Little Jimmy cross the road? Little Jimmy doesnt have arms and legs, silly, he cant cross the road.

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Simon walks into a bar. He orders his favorite beer. The bartender says "Hey Simon, I see you're back with the usual, aye?" Simon says "Touch you tongue to your elbow." The bartender couldn't do it.

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why did the tortoise cross the road? it does not matter, it got hit by a vehicle and died on impact.

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Q: What's worse than stepping a LEGO in the middle of the night? A: A landmine

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How do you confuse a conspiracy theorist? Tell them the government is not real.

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Why did the hooker fall out of the tree? Because she was dead

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"Solids tunderf" he said, while chewing his gum.

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This is a joke. Laugh!

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What is the difference between 10 dead babies and a 1,000,000 dollar car I don't have a 1,000,00 dollar car

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What do a vampire and a ginger have in common they're both afraid of the sunligh- oh wait this anti jokes ohhhhhhh oh well

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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