whats not funny and has access to a computer and reasonable internet? Me

thumb_up thumb_down +9

What did the bird say on twitter? Tweet tweet.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

What's the difference between Asians and buckets? I don't use Asians to scoop water out of the lake.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Why was the iPhone screen cracked? Because it was dropped on a rock.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

What do you get if you cross a man and a horse? Severe internal bleeding.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

What did the farmer say when he finally found his tractor? "Wheres my tractor?" Oh ya he had alzheimers.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

So I'm at the office and I tell this guy, "Hey can you pass me the stapler. But when you pass it over, make sure there are staples in it 'cause if not, I can't staple anything."

thumb_up thumb_down +9

How did the man die? A gorilla raped him

thumb_up thumb_down +9

What is black and white and red all over? A black, red and white picture

thumb_up thumb_down +9

What's black and always in the back of a cop car? The seat.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

what happened when the sports mascot ate a bean and cheese burrito? he shat inside his costume and got fired.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

A man asks his wife to make him a sandwich, she proceeds to make a sandwich using rye bread, lettuce, two slices of tomatoes, a variety condiments, mustard and several slices of American cheese. The man eats the sandwich at a parade with his wife celebrating Woman's Rights.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Why did the Grandad teabag his Grandson? Because he likes dipping his balls into the mouths of his Grandchildren; as if they were a teabag and his mouth was a mug.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

One day, an Irishman, a Jew and an American were walking home from a long game of golf. "God, that was a long game" said the American, to which the Irishman replied "aye, that it was." The Irishman then turned to the Jew, and asked him how he managed to get two birdies in succession. The Jew, after a moment of deliberation, began to explain. "Well, it all began when I was six. See, there was a mountain right next to Casparia, the village I lived for most of my life back in Wales. Every day, I'd come back from school, and ask my dad why nobody ever attempted to scale the mountain. 'To do so would be an unnecessary risk, son, and people are too busy working to put food and water on the tables for their families to undertake something so foolish.' One night, when insomnia was getting the better of me, I decided to get a better look at the mountain, so I strapped on my boots, my fur coat and some woolly mittens and left for the mountain. After a few hours of walking, I approached the closest hill which gave me a perfect view of the mountain's first peak, and there I spotted a polar bear, mauling a hiker to death." The Jew paused to check the Irishman and the American were following, when the American spoke up; "hold on there, there aren't any polar bears in Casparia!" The Irishman also spoke up; "there isn't even a village called Casparia, well, anywhere!" The Jew smiled slightly, and a few seconds later the smile broke out into a gigantic grin, and he finally replied: "exactly".

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Did I invite you to my birthday party? No. Then why are you at my birthday party?

thumb_up thumb_down +9

What's red and green and goes 100mph? A frog in a vehicle on the Autobahn.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Why are a black man's eyes always bloodshot red after having sex? Pepper spray.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

What's worse than losing the remote? Dying of cancer.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

what happened to the little girl when she crossed the line she was shot. shes mexican

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Q: why are you gay A: because your physically attracted to the same sex

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Bible Fact0idz: "Something Drink my blood and consume my flesh and live forever something" Jesus- dead age 30something alcoholism liver problems and diabeetus at time of death, crucified and not been seen since, return pending? Classified Alcoholic. Moral: "YOU CANT HANDLE THE TRUTH!"

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Why did the police officer pull over the black person? He made a traffic infraction.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

a boy put a blanket oveer his head one night... He was warm for the rest of the night

thumb_up thumb_down +9

What do chicken and babies have in common? They both taste like chicken.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops