Ask me for £1000 Can I have £1000 No get a job

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How does he keep getting girls to sleep with him? Bear-traps..

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whats big and green, andif it falls from a tree , it can kill you? a golfcourse

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A group of young men walks into a bar. They drink some booze, laugh, have a great time and then go home to sleep.

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Why didn't the man answer the Anti Joke? He had a severe mental disorder and was therefore incapable of speech.

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How many dead babies does it take to fill a bathtub? 17

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What's worse than 10 dead babies in 1 trash can 1 baby in 10 trash cans

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What happens when you take a break from reality? Nothing, it's impossible, unless you live in a virtual world.

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Knock knock Shut up

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Why didn't the Jew laugh at the joke concerning his familial genealogy in relation to WW2? He had orofacial paralysis and was therefore physically incapable of expressing joy through the means of his mouth

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whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? getting your Fallopian tubes ripped out by wolverine

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Why is six afraid of seven? Because seven is a registered sex offender

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What do you call a fly without wings? Injured and left for dead.

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What's the difference between Rob Schnieder and Jelly Beans? Someone besides Adam Sandler likes Jelly Beans.

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whats yellow after cani...nathan

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69

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A man walks into a bar. He leaves a large rucksack by the pool table and walks out. The rucksack then explodes and kills 13 people because it is the height of the Troubles and the man is a member of the IRA, who targetted the bar because it is regularly visited by British servicemen. The media extensively cover the story, and the two sides of the conflict in Northern Ireland decide that the bloodshed must stop, which eventually made way to the Good Friday agreement of 1998.

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I wrote a joke for 'Anti-Joke', I laughed, it was funny.

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A girl asks her mother, "Mummy, why am i called Rose?" "Because when you were 1 day old a rose petal landed on your head." Another girl asked her mother, "Mummy, why am i called Daisy?" "Because when you were 1 day old a daisy landed on your head" "alualualualalughghphphpphphp" "Shut up fridge"

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Where do you study to get a good education? A library, at home, or at another quiet location where it is easy to concentrate.

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cats are pussies

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Have you seen Stevie wonders new house? No Neither has he.

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How do you send Harry Potter a post card? Get an owl to send it to his house.

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What does a Somalian want for Christmas? Nothing hes Sunni Muslim and does not celebrate Christmas

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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