What was Helen Keller's favorite activity? fingering herself...

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Religious fanatics: WE MUST NOT SIN! Jesus: And I died for their sins? They do not even try a bit of sex and rock and roll? Now that is a sin :( I died for nothing then :( Religious fanatics: Damn!

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(SAY KATCHUP AND LICKER AFTER EVERY SENTENCE) FOR BREAKFEAST I HAD (KATCHUP AND LICKER) FOR LUNCH I HAD I SEE MY GIRL FRIEND AT THE MALL SO I (KATCH UP AND LICK HER

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Coach: Hey, you missed the team meeting today, but I wanted to let you know we've had a number of changes to the lineup. Player: Really? Who's on first? Coach: That's right. A man with the unlikely name of Mr. Who is on first. We also have Mr. What on second, and Mr. I Don't Know is on third. The rest of the team is the same. Player: Oh. People have weird names now. But I'm sure they're great guys. Thanks for explaining that. Coach: Any time. Don't mention it.

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Knock knock Who's there? Be Be who? Be yourself

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To reach his desired destination.

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What did Batman and Robin say when they were going to the Batmobile? To the Batmobile

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What do you find in a pile of dead babies? ************************************************ A dead baby.

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What do you get when you put two landsharks together? Three landsharks.

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if you have hair on the palm of your hand you might want to get that checked out

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What do you get when a white person and a black person make a baby? A possible high functioning member of society.

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dude... what would you do if i punched you in the face? i would pee on you

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I am aware that my positivity makes me do some bad mistakes, but if negativity is the alternative I will keep taking my chances.

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Once there was a girl named Andrea

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I thought it was the WHITE house. C'mon Obama. C'mon

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Q: Why did Grandma fall down the stairs? A: Because she had a brain hammerage

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penis?

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Q: What did the kid with no arms and legs get for Christmas. A: A bicycle.

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Ask me If I am an orange? Are you and Orange? No

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Q: Where's the cheese? Who ate the cheese? A: How do you know it's been eaten because it's gone? Are you making the assumption that food that has disappeared was eaten because that is usually how food disappears? I am filing a lawsuit against you for your malevolent foodism.

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What starts with D and ends with ICK? Drumstick.

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there once was a frog with no leggs

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What worse than biting into an apple and finding a worm? Biting into an apple and finding 2 worms

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Q. If you're paddling up river and you lose three tires, how many pancakes does it take to cover a doghouse? A. Purple because ice cream has no bones.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops