Q: If it takes a chicken a day and a half to lay an egg and a half, then how long would it take a monkey to kick the seeds off of a dill pickle. A: I don't know. That's a stupid question.

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why wouldn't the printer work? because there was an animal in it.

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What's worse than finding a worm in the apple you're eating? Many things could be worse than that, from the less severe e.g. Finding half a worm in the apple you're eating to the more severe, such as the total collapse of civilization.

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Why did Sally fall of the swing? Because she had no arms Knock knock.. Who's there? Not Sally!

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what is friendship? when friends go on a ship

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A blond, a brunette, and a redhead got into a street fight. who won? The redhead because she had a gun.

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Q: Why do black people like fried chicken? A: Because it tastes delicious!

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Listen Erron, what`s wrong? I would have told you to go fuck yourself if it where not for the fact that AzureDragon just left for the cafeteria and is nowhere to be seen.

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KARMA KARMA KARMA KARMA CHAMELEON

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What happened to to dyslexic giraffe that tripped over a brick. It got back up.

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What did the cool guy say to Kelly Clarkson? Nothing, she's fat.

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What happens when three blind mice go our looking for food? They die because of the mouse traps the owners have because they are tired of loosing food to the mice.

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? She had no arms.

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What starts with F and ends in UCK? Firetruck. What starts with P and ends in ORN? Popcorn. What starts with S and ends in HIT? Shit.

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A man has had too many beers late at night. The bartender says "Sir, I'm going to have to cut you off"

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't. The farmer quickly saw the chicken escaping and grabbed it before it caught any dangerous outside diseases, making his entire flock go bad, and therefore making the farmer go bankrupt.

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What's worse than a pile of dead babies? A large Albanian man jizzing on the pile.

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What's worse than rape? Gang rape.

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What will happen if your heart skips 10 beats? Nothing. You're dead.

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How do you make a tissue dance? You give it dance lessons.

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Hey, you know what sucks about being blind? You can see.

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You just wasted time of your life reading this, and perhaps even more wasted time thumbing this down.

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you had me at "hello", no need to add "you're under arrest"

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Sharvil has aids 4 times

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops