Your boat breaks down on the highway. How many squirrels does it take to eat a bannana? Squirrels do not eat bannanas but it would probably take a monkey 1.5 milliseconds.

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Q: There is an Elf King, King Kong, and Godzilla all on the empire state building. Which one jumps first? A: None, because none of them exist.

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What did the mute man say to the president? Nothing, he is mute

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A white straight man, a black gay man, and an Asian bisexual woman walk into a bar. They are enjoying their drinks until one overly intoxicated man makes a remark towards the group in reference to their diversity in race, sexual orientation, and sex. The bar crowd is enthused with the drunk man's genius in not only constructing a joke to cover all three categorical descriptions of the group, but in guessing each member's sexuality based on their respective appearances.

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what du u call a aplle raisni in the hotr sun? graep duahahahahahahejejejejejejahahahejejejwyan

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A drunk guy walks into a bar. A blind man walks into the same bar.

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A player under the tag "KiTcHeNGuRLxGaMerZ143" got a message after finishing a map on call of duty. "lol ur good."

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What did Batman say to Robin before he got in the car? Robin, get in the car.

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Why did Jimmy get off of the park bench? he wanted candy from the man in the white van

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Two muffins are put in an oven. One muffin turns to the other and says, "is it just me or is it getting hot in here?". The other muffin says,"HOLY CRAP!!!!! A TALKING MUFFIN!!!!".

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What did the orphan boy get for Christmas? Exactly what he had asked for because UNICEF do a wonderful job.

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Why did the baby die? Because he got shot in the head repeatedly.

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roses are red violets are blue we're having sex cause i'm stronger than you

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these jokes are not funny but there funny because there not funny aaaaaaaa pissing me off

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An Asian person drove home safely.

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Knock knock! Ding dong.

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Whats the difference between a Cadillac and 100 dead babies? I don't have a Cadillac in my garage.

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wanna hear a joke? woman's rights.

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Whats worse than one bee sting? Two bee stings. Whats worse than two bees stings? The holocaust. Whats worse than the holocaust? Three bee stings. Now, if you have been well-educated you should be able to tell the problem with this joke. Unless you know someone whos jewish and lived during the holocaust, you couldn't be sure if three bee stings was actually worse than the holocaust. If ou do however, thats good for you, keep it to yourself.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he was curious about something that had diverted his attention.

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I was flying in the sky but lost control and crashed. I woke up on the floor.

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Have you ever seen the inside of Stevie Wonder's house? Neither has he.

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Whats the worst part of your school burning down? A: The burnt pizza.

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Xbox One

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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