Uh... What was emulating again?

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A man is on an operating table. His heart stops beating and he suddenly finds himself at the Gates of Heaven. St. Peter approaches him. "Welcome, my son," St. Peter says. "I will ask you one question, and that will determine whether you can enter Heaven. Did you ever commit a sin and never sought forgiveness?" "No," the man replies, "I always made sure to apologize." St. Peter smiles. "Congratulations, my son. You may enter Heaven!" The man is ecstatic as the pearly gates open up for him. He enters Heaven and is astounded by its magnificent beauty. The man then loses all brain function and dies on the operating table.

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Q: why can't women drive? A: because there is no road between the kitchen and the bedroom

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i walk into a bar,and then proceed to be taken out because i am a minor -chuckles

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What's orange and sounds like a parrot? A carrot

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What do you get when a white person and a black person make a baby? A possible high functioning member of society.

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When life gives you cancer, make cancerade.

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A man drives down the road in a van that says "Candy" He was doing his job in a professional manner

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So a person asked a blonde in America which was closer: the Moon or Canada? The blonde responded "Canada"

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What did one chick in a clothes shop say to another? That's cheap

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Why did the chicken cross the road? I really hate poultry related jokes.

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What's worst than your favorite football team losing the football? Giving birth to a stillborn child.

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Why has the suicide in dentists decreased? -Due to the fact that being a dentist makes suicide redundant!

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Why did Hitler commit suicide? He looked at his gas bill.

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women are like puzzles because prior to 1920 neither had the right to vote, puzzles still don't.

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How do you stop a bus ? Put 3 small children in front of it Whats sad about 3 children who died in a bus crash ? They were my kids. How do you know if you're blind ? You run in to a wall

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What did squidward do when SpongeBob asked him to be his friend on Facebook? 1.declined it 2.got a restraining order against him 3.wondered how computer generated cartoon characters could send and decline friend requests

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Q: Why did the wihte man buy a burger? A: cuz he was hungry

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A black man, hispanic man, and white man walk in to a bar. They are all friends. They enjoy a few beers together then call a taxi to take them home because it is irresponsible to operate a motor vehicle while under the influence of alcohol or other drugs.

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How do you get a blonde out of a tree? Shoot her in the head.

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Whats the difference between a pizza and a Jew? Jews are people

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Why did the chicken cross the road? I don't know why the fuck he crossed the road, I don't know what he is thinking.

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What did the blonde waitress say to the man with a curly moustache? Good evening, are you ready to order?; yes [x2]; and what would you like with it?; certanly; there you go; no, I'm sorry; right.

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why did the koala fall out of the tree? it was shot. why'd the second koala fall out of the tree? it was stapled to the first one. why'd the third koala fall out of the tree? it thought they were playing a game. why'd the refrigerator fall out of the tree? it thought it was a koala. why'd the man fall of his bike? it was hit by 3 koala's and a refrigerator.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops