How did you know it was bedtime at Michael Jackson's house? When his clock's big hand met the little hand, usually at 10 or 11, though sometimes later if he had a concert that night.

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Why did the boy give the girl flowers? Because her parents died in a car crash and he felt bad.

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Want to hear a joke? Me too.

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What's the difference between a dead black man in the road, and a dead dog in the road? One is a human being that probably leaves behind family and friends that will miss his absence. The other is an animal that will also be missed, but to a lesser degree since dogs don't form a bond with people other than the family it shared its life with. In either of the two cases, if I witnessed the accident that caused the death, I would promptly notify the authorities so as to make sure that the driver of the vehicle that hit them would be subjected to a breathalyzer test.

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What do you call someone like Sarah Palin? A tragic victim of America's flawed educational system. But hey! She learned one thing though! Russia is right in her own backyard! Oh wait that would be wrong unless her backyard stretched all the way across Alaska and the Bering Sea. So she didn't learn anything at all. OK she's just dumb

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The Charlotte Bobcats winning more than 10 games

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Roses are red violets are blue this poem makes no sense refrigerator.

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A man was walking down the street He was then killed in a drive by.

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Okay I have knock knock joke but u have to start it. Okay Knock knock Who's there (akward silence)

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What did the business man say to the homeless person? Get a job

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Robert had 30 cheeseburgers and he ate 28 of them. What does he have now? Diabetes.

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roses are red, violets are blue, i have Alzheimer's, CHEESE ON TOAST

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Fun Fact: If you lay out all of the veins in your body out, You will die

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This is an anti-anti-joke.

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what did batman say to robin before they got in the car? "robin get in the car"

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it did not realize it was a man-made distinction for constructed transportation vehicles and had a coincidental tendency to walk toward the area on the other side to find food or avoid birds flying over.

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What did the daddy hamster say to the baby hamster? Nothing. Male hamsters eat their young.

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Q: why does the fire breather hate his job A: his parents were burned to death MR

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i like having monkeys lick peanut butter off my nipples

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Who. Who, Who? Shut up you damn owl, I'm trying to deliver a pizza.

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Why are black people black? They're not. They're brown you idiot.

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Your mom is so poor that she can't even pay attention.

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What's the difference between a trampoline and a pile of dead babies? I have to take off my boots to jump on the trampoline.

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What is worse than failing a class? Dress up for grown-ups.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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