Two muffins are put in an oven. One muffin turns to the other and says, "is it just me or is it getting hot in here?". The other muffin says,"HOLY CRAP!!!!! A TALKING MUFFIN!!!!".

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So, I was walking down the street. As i walked past a oak door an entrance to a mental institution, I heard a bored voice going, "eleven, eleven, eleven". My curiosity, like a cat, got better of me and I decided to take a peek through the key hole and see the eleven things being counted. As soon as I had my eye on the key hole, I was poked in the eye by a metal rod. Startled, I feel back to the street. And, sure enough, heard the same bored voice, going, "twelve, twelve, twelve".

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An Englishman, an Irishman and a Scotsman walk into a bar. The barman says "What is this? A joke?" They then proceed to rape the barman.

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Knock knock? Who's there? A Jehovah's Witness. Oh. Knock knock? Who's there? Not me!

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YOU

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A man walked into this bar, and said ouch.

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I was Born ready I was born naked.

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A player under the tag "KiTcHeNGuRLxGaMerZ143" got a message after finishing a map on call of duty. "lol ur good."

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Why couldn't the prostitute give a proper blow job..... She had no lips

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What do you call a Mexican that doesn't have a lawn mower? An honest working induvidual that just so happens to live in the city and does not own a lawn mower

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Roses are red violets are blue this poem makes no sense refrigerator.

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Why does a chicken lay an egg? If she'd throw it it would break.

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How many licks does it take to get to the center of a tootsie roll pop? After one hour, twelve minutes, and fifty-three seconds, Dave calculated that it approximately took 247 licks.

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Question: Whats worse then getting hit by a bus? Answer: Getting hit by a train.

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a black man has a shotgun. having an IQ of 11 he shot his hands off

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Your mom is so fat when she sat on wallmart she lowered the prices

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Knock Knock Whose there? Its John

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Where do cows go on the weekends? The slaughterhouse.

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roses are red violets are blue we're having sex cause i'm stronger than you

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wanna hear a joke? woman's rights.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to KFC for his job interview

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I helped build the town school. But when people see me, no one says "Hey, there's the guy that built the town school." I helped put out the flames, when the city was on fire. But when people see me they don't say "Hey, there's the hero that saved the city." But I have sex with one goat.... And people judge me justifiably asd having sex with goats is really disgusting and sticks in peoples minds.

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Mama Bear and Papa Bear were in court getting a divorce and the judge offered Baby Bear a choice of which parent to live with. "Do you want to live with your mother?" the judge asks. "No! She beats me." answers the baby bear. "OK, then you can live with your father." says the judge. "No! He beats me too!" cries baby bear. So Baby Bear was placed in a foster home.

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What did Hitler get for Christmas? Some shoelaces for his shoes so he could tie his little knotsies.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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