A zen master walks up to a hot dog vendor and says, "Make me one with everything." The vendor says, "Sorry, we're out of relish." Then the zen master tells him, "Sir, I don't think you get the joke. As you can see by my long silk robes and fu manchu, I am clearly a zen master. And I have used a pun that would make you think I were asking for enlightenment from a hot dog." The vendor then says, "We don't take too kindly to wise guys here." And then the prick gets up and tosses me into the street!

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Two straight men walk into a gay bar and promptly forget why they went to a gay bar when they are both clearly heterosexual.

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What's the difference between a black man and a bench? A bench is an inanimate object.

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What would George Washington say if he were alive? "Help! im stuck in a coffin!"

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obama

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MAKE TEA NOT WAR!

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WHO LET THE DOGS OUT?!?!?!!! Not Michael Vick.

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Jack and Jill went up the hill to fetch a pail of water. Jack fell down and smashed his head on a jagged rock and screamed in anguish. Jill watched in horror as her brother suffered through the agonizing pain. Jack was rushed to the hospital immediately, but despite the doctors' efforts, he died. Jill mourned the loss of her brother for many years after the incident.

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Knock knock Who's there? The bank. We've come to evict you from your house.

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Whats the difference between a Cadillac and 100 dead babies? I don't have a Cadillac in my garage.

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I shot a bitch.

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What is fat and white? A polar bear with a glandular problem.

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Why was the kid picking his nose. Because someone shoved a bomb in it.

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why didnt the kid get anything for christmas? santa exploded

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What`s that CREAM that comes out of you when your mom puts a WHIP on you with a switch? WHIP CREAM!

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What's the differences between oranges? Trees don't have doors.

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What is white and will kill you if it fell out of a tree? Charles Manson

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What is greater than God, More evil than the Devil, The poor have it, The rich need it, If you eat it, you will die? Madelyns head

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Why did Jimmy get off of the park bench? he wanted candy from the man in the white van

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Why did the boy throw butter out the window? Because he was mentally handicaped

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where was the heart of ocean found. madelain mcanns urn

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A deaf lion tried to kill a zebra. It succeeded.

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I think poop is tasty... just kidding.

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There Are 2 People A lack Person And A White Person, The Black Person Looks Over At The White Person And Said, "Hi Tyrone!"

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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