whats blue and looks like a bucket? a red bucket disguised as a blue bucket

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Knock Knock Whose there? A field full of mexicans A field full if mexicans who? F**k You

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What's worse then having gum stuck on the bottom of your shoe? Having a stick poked in your eye. What's worse then having a stick poked in your eye? Having a nail go through your foot. What's worse then having a nail go through your foot? Having a stick poked in your eye and a nail going through your foot.

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Why was the Jamaican man smoking pot? His doctor prescribed it. The man has a serious case of glaucoma.

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What do you get when you cross a cheetah and a zebra? A dead zebra.

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Q: Why did the lady retire? A: Because she had been working for numerous years and felt that she needed to spend more time with her family.

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Roeses are red lemons are sour open your legs and give me an hour

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Yo mama's so fat, she has low self-esteem.

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Why can't Helen Keller conduct a Train. Because she is dead.

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Knock, knock Who's there? Man Man who? The man who is knocking. Now open the door Carl!

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Why did the plane crash? The pilot was a loaf of bread

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Knock knock Who's there? To To who? No, Sir, it is "to whom"

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A Jewish man with a 20 mile boner walks into a wall. Which body part hits the wall first? His nose

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A wise man once said, "I am wise".

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What did Sam Houston Say to Jim Bowie when he say all the Mexicans coming Towards the Alamo? That's a lot of Mexicans.

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What is the best way to run a race? Start out fast, run fast in the middle, and finish fast.

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What did the Dementia sufferer get for Christmas?

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I found out I had asthma earlier today. I was breathless.

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Where's the best place to buy moon bars? Michael Toal

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Why was the pirate not allowed into the movie? tickets were sold out

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What's funnier than the holocaust? Just about everything seeing how the holocaust is not a funny event, but rather enormous tragedy.... Assholes.

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There was a farmer had a dog and Bingo was his name-oh But the farmer killed and ate him, because Bingo licked himself inappropriately

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A panda walks into a restaurant, sits down and orders a sandwich. After he finishes eating the sandwich, the panda pulls out a gun and shoots the waiter, and then stands up to go. "Hey!" shouts the manager. "Where are you going? You just shot my waiter and you didn't pay for your sandwich!" The panda yells back at the manager, "Hey man, I am a PANDA! Look it up!" The manager's heart skipped a beat, and he locked himself inside his office, trembling with fear and confusion. Yes, it was plausible that a beast such as this could point to a random entry on the menu, and it was physically possible for it to pull the trigger of the gun (and, at such close proximity to the waiter, it would be pretty hard to miss him), but it was shocking and altogether disturbing to hear such an animal speak in human language, much less vernacular English.

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whats your budget like? a budget.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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