ROSES ARE RED FRIENDS ARE FRIENDS, NO MUTUAL FRIEND, WHO THE FUCK ARE YOU TRYING TO ADD ME ON FACEBOOK BITCH!

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You suck big fat slobber

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A girl and a boy where sitting on a couch together. The boy told the girl politly that she hass gained a significant amount of weight and should lose it. She then pulled out a candy bar in her back pocket and shoved it down his throat, to which he suffocated, because she was on her period when to comment was made.

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What do you call a big group of Chinese people on Mars? An extraordinary feat for the Chinese space program and a historic day in human history, where a particular country has set up the first human colony on another planet and we have proven to ourselves that our race is capable of interplanetary travel and can accomplish anything if we set our minds to it.

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While on a business trip, a Jim got a call on his cell phone. It was his best friend. He was informing Jim of his wife's death in a terrible train crash. She didn't die on impact, but her legs were cut off by metal debris from the train car in front of her. She fought against the pain and used a shirt she found from a dead body to stop the bleeding. She managed to drag herself to the nearest road crossing, where someone drove her to the hospital. Despite her efforts to survive and the surgeons efforts to save her, she died that night as a result of excessive blood loss. After he hung up, Jim turned up the ringer volume on his phone because he couldn't hear it very well when it rang.

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Why didnt the boy eat his ice cream? Because he is dairy intolerant

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How many pencils does it take to get an A on a test? Actually it takes knowledge.

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a man walks into a bar the bar tender says why the long face? i just walked into a bar

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Getting raped by a girl who was knocked off a swing by a fridge.

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What is Santa's favorite color? Blue

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Did you hear the joke about Hellen Keller? Neither did she.

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When life gives you melons, your dyslexic

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Why does Courtney smell? she has a severe lack of personal hygiene which needs addressing,

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What did the man say to the cat. ~It doesn't matter it impossible for 2 Species to Communicate between one another.

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What do you call a dead baby who died by getting ran over by a car? Jimmy

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Your mother is so fat that people make rude comments about her behind her back, but they shouldn't because she's a really nice lady.

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Two guys are on a bridge. One commits suicide, the other one is called John.

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Why did the Chicken cross the road? Because as an animal with legs it is highly capable of doing such as it pleases.

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A: Ask me if I'm a tree. B: Are you a tree? A: psh, no! *gives offended look and walks away*

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Why couldn't the drunken man walk in a straight line? Because someone shot him in the face.

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Why did the 10-year-old boy get on the computer? He had to finish a project for Social Studies, and it was due the next day.

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What is big, white, and will kill you if it falls out of a tree? Donald Trump

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FIONN'S LIFE

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What did the man say to his father? You are not my mom.....

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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