Q) What do you call a black man swinging from a tree? A) A very silly man as it is potentially dangerous

thumb_up thumb_down

what did the scene kid get for christmas? a gift card which he used ironically.

thumb_up thumb_down

Roses are red, Violets are blue, i am in sex mode, why the F**k are you!!

thumb_up thumb_down

What did the Blind man say to the deaf man? Nothing, he doesn't know sign language

thumb_up thumb_down

So, there was two successful business men at a social gathering when one leans in to the other to comment, "Hey, that women over there, she looks like your wife!" to which the other one replies, "That is my wife."

thumb_up thumb_down

What time do you go to the dentist? Depends on the appointment.

thumb_up thumb_down

Coming this fall, A hilarious movie for the whole family to enjoy, actor Rob Schneider play a very normal man would goes to work everyday to support his family who he loves more than anything in the world, critics are saying that this is the most vulgar slapstick comedy of the year as Rob Schneider teaches his two adopted kids the power of Jesus Christ. Coming this fall... The Nun's Birthday Rated R for excessive nudity of Rob Schneider and an asian hooker.

thumb_up thumb_down

So a deaf man is listening to the radio.

thumb_up thumb_down

Why couldn't the blind man drive? His sight impairment made him unable to fulfill the task without harming himself and potentially other people.

thumb_up thumb_down

What did the girl with no arms get for Christmas? A long sleeve shirt

thumb_up thumb_down

There once was a little girl called maddie who had a very earisponaceable daddy, she was taken from her bed and now she is dead and was raped by a Portuguese tranny

thumb_up thumb_down

What did the man's ex-wife told him after their divorce? "Build a bridge and get over did" And so he did because hes a contractor that specialized in structures spanning and providing passage over a gap or barrier, such as a river or roadway

thumb_up thumb_down

Barack Obama, Mother Teresa and Stephen Hawkings had race. Who won? Barack Obama. This deduction can be made as Stephen Hawking is severely disabled by a motor neurone disease known as amyotrophic lateral sclerosis. Henceforth, he has very limited control over the majority of his body and is confined to a electric wheel chair. Thus, he could not participate competitively in the race. Moreover, Mother Teresa is dead. This unfortunate occurrence was caused by several myocardial infarctions in combination with pneumonia. Regardless of this, Mother Teresa's meek and frail build would slower her speed considerably; in comparison to Barack Obama's relatively athletic and robust frame. Nonetheless, President Obama is a smoker. Therefore, he may experience symptoms associated with emphysema during the race, causing him to retire. As such no-one would finish the race, leaving the spectators feeling very disappointed and empty.

thumb_up thumb_down

So like i was like 3 and I was like stupid or something I was only three, come on! three

thumb_up thumb_down

there is a blonde, red head, and brunet held captive in afghanistan. The people say whats your last word to the red head, she says tornado... they turned and she escaped, they say to the brunet what is your last word, she says tsunami.. they turn and she escaped. They go to the blonde and say what is your last word, she says fire... she is then shot rapidly and she dies.

thumb_up thumb_down

why did the chickan cross the road? who let the chickan out?

thumb_up thumb_down

Knock knock. Who's there? Gestapo. Gestapo who? Your husband is dead.

thumb_up thumb_down

Why was the boy crying? His mother has terminal cancer, and his father does not have the financial stability to cover the cost of the surgery and keep up on house payments and buying clothes and food for the children. He will be living in a foster home in a matter of a week.

thumb_up thumb_down

Far from, yet all organizations are money based and put capitalism in front of all, so if lets say, one organization, needs help from another, a money transaction is made, I play a role there, as a well... Diplomat, its not my title, but my title is something I cannot reveal to anyone, not even my wife, id be putting myself and people in danger, but since I master things such as hypnosis, I can well, influence people, this is how I can pull of favors myself. Not favors such as "kill that guy for me", but more like... In your case. "If you are going to kill the wizard, please let the rest be, I know they are good people"

thumb_up thumb_down

how do you get a mexican to fall off of a cliff? you push them off

thumb_up thumb_down

Why did Sally fall of the swing set? Because she got hit with a mattress

thumb_up thumb_down

I used to be an adventurer like you...but then I was diagnosed with cancer.

thumb_up thumb_down

Why did the chicken cross the road? To get hit by a car and die.

thumb_up thumb_down

Q. Why didn't the man tell his girlfriend about his big lottery win? A. Because it was none of her business.

thumb_up thumb_down

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops