a man walks into a bar. He left after he drank two beers. Someone pulled his pants down and he didnt notice. when he got home he realized his pants were gone. He returned to the bar to search, but it was a metal bar, and he was fairly stupid. please dont laugh

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yo mamma is so stupid she failed high school

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A black man and a white man walk into a bar, "what will it be" said the bartender. Milk, chocolate milk.

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What's worse than accidentally flooding your bathroom? A Tsunami

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A blind man walked into a bar and got a beer and got drunk and went on a rampage and killed YOUR MOM

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What is brown red and white? I don't know, that's why I asked you

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Roses are red Violets are blue This doesn't rhyme F*ck it

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How do you blindfold an Asian person? Take a price of cloth and put it over his eyes

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Why did the Japanese man commit suicide? He was terminally ill and decided it was his time to go

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Several ways to annoy people: Grab the end of their shirt to blow your nose Try to shove a bowling ball down there throat Try to sell them a broom and vacuum Try to eat their babies paint their toe Nibble their ankles Ask if you can babysit their crystal and if they say no start whining Carry around your chicken and ask if they want a nugget

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Come on children, don't dawdle.

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It was okay, then Alice my friend and a nurse insisted (she can be a total bitch) I take a painkiller, of course that messed up my focus completely and threw off my hypnotic suggestion which I use to shut down the pain receptors. Ironically I cannot seem to shut off my allergy to dust. Oh, yeah it was the standard bullshit Mensa test, ten patterns or something, oh and while I am terrible at trivia, I am actually much smarter than a fifth grader, I mean one kid told me he was smarter because he could do math better than me and he could, so I choked the little bitch to death, who is the smartest one now?

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Why is Stevie Wonder always smiling? Because he's rich...

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"Oren" Tifa is not around here, besides she does not like you anymore, get lost you wacko!

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Why is the boy home alone on Friday night? Because HItler took he's parents away.

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Did you know that a hamster and a cigarette are almost the same? How? Because they are both completely harmless until you put them in your mouth and light them on fire.

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Question what is blue and floats Answer everything that is blue that foes not sink

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What's the best rabbit for a black person?

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A black guy and a white guy are walking down the sidewalk. As it suddenly begins to rain, what does the white guy say to the black guy? Nothing. They did not know each other.

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How do you kill a blue elephant? With a blue elephant gun. How do you kill a white elephant? No there is no such thing as a white elephant gun. You take it's trunk, then strangle it until it turns blue. Then you shoot it with a blue elephant gun.

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What's black and white and red all over? A skunk in a blender.

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Why did the guy eat his mom? people get hungry in this world

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BF:Roses r red Violets r blue a face like ur's shuld b i n the zoo but dont worry i'll be there but not in the cage but laughing at u. GF:Wanna c a magic trick? POOF ur single

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Whats the difference between a rabbit an a eagle? They both fly except for the rabbit

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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