How you do stop a baby from swinging around on the clothesline? Hit it with a shovel.

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anal seepage

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A dog walks into a bar and the bartender gives him a bowl of water because it is hot outside and he doesn't want the dog to dehydrate because he could die.

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How did the blond know that you like her? You said,"Baby, I like you"

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There were 3 children: Flower, Petal and Fridge. Flower asked, "Mum, why is my name Flower?" to which she replied "Because a flower was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Petal asked, "Mum, why is my name Petal?" to which she replied "Because a petal was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Fridge said, "Herp derp dur" to which Fridge's mother replied "Shut up, Fridge."

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What did the man with tourettes yell on an airplane? He yelled bomb, and was gunned down by 2 federal marshals, one of which's stray bullets happened to hit a small child with autism.

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your mama is so stupid stole a free sample

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Q. What's the definition of mixed emotions? A. Watching your attorney drive off a cliff in your new car.

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what's a fish with no eyes and out of water? its just a fish

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Justin Bieber

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What nickname do you give Harrison Kinney if he is good at remixing music? Harrison "Remix" Kinney

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Who's the biggest badass in the nation? Adrenaline junky Jacobs!

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Hellen keller

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A blonde a red head and burrnett was on a island, heres there diolouge. Red:lets have a breast stroke race. bothe burnett and blonde:ok. The red head gets to the next island 1st and waits 2hrs,then the burnett comes up. Red:what took u so long? Burnett:i got hit by some waves.. they both wait weeks and weeks. the blonde comes . red and burnett: what took u long? Blonde:umm.... YOU GUYS CHEATED!! YOU USED UR HANDS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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What is worst than your girlfriend's mother?? Osama Bin Laden's One

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Roses are grey Violets are grey I am a dog Woof.

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How many babies does it take it to feed a grown man? It depends on the size of the man, how hungry he is and how big the babies are.

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why did the chickan cross the road? who let the chickan out?

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Did you hear that Jerry Sandusky won the swimming race? He's in very good shape for a man his age.

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Whats white and blue and if it fell out of a tree it would kill you? a fridge in a denim jacket :D

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When time is the best time to make a wish during the day? 9:11

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The President, The Pope, and a small child are all in an airplane when the pilot announces that the plane is going to crash. They crash into the ocean and quickly remember that there is a life vest under their seats, which they promptly put on and safely inflate after exiting the cabin of the aircraft by pulling down on one or both of the red tabs.

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why was the water bottle empty? because bob drank it. stupid bob...

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What did one wardrobe say to another wardrobe? Clothes.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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