how do you kill a rat skin it and feed it to your child and wait till it shits then when it shits feed it to your dog then when it shits then microwave it and shove the smelly liquid remains up your ass.

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Why was billy made fun of his whole life? Because he's mentally retarded

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You know what is funnier than 24???? I don't know that's why I was asking

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Q: What's long, hard, and full of sea men? A: A submarine.

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What did the priest do to the little crying boy in an enclosed room? He forgave the boy for his sins. Then he raped him.

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Why was the fat kid the last one to lunch? He'd had lead bricks stapled to his ankles by the skinny kids.

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What do you do when a dog chews your pen? Use a pencile instead.

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what did the tree say when it fell down? Nothing it is humanly impossible for a tree to talk. Especially after it fell down. I mean that would hurt.

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Why did suzie fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock knock - who's there? Bob -bob who.... Bobs knocking for suzie!

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whats black and white and red all over? a zebra crossing after a horrible, horrible car accident

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What's worst than your favorite football team losing the football? Giving birth to a stillborn child.

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How many footballs fit in a glass of liquid. none, this football is HUGE!!!

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A man walks into a bar. Then he buys a beer.

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A priest, R Kelly, and Michael Jackson walk into a bar. They proceed to molest small children.

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If God gives you lemons you find a new God

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Why couldn't the black kid buy a bike? He had no money.

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How do you stop a baby alien from crying? Watch what its mother does to soothe it and then try and copy that.

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Why did the baby cry? His dad was holding him upside down over a fire.

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Why did Bob wear a jumper and trousers even though it was a very hot day? Because he is an idiot.

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roses are red and have big balls woooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

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today at school... I learned about all the core subject plus the additional electives.

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Latvian guy said to the other latvian guy: ''Why did the chicken cross the road?'' The other latvian guy responded: ''In truth, i do not know. I have not seen chicken in 10 years. The last time was before the red army plundered my village. I can still hear all the screams from the women being raped. But, back to question. Where is this chicken you speak of? I have not eaten in days and my wife and children are close to starvation aswell''

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This is not funny.

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A man walks into a psychiatrists office with a banana in his ear, The psychiatrist says, why do you have that banana in your ear. The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist says, "I said, 'Why do you have that banana in your ear?" The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist shouts, "I SAID, WHY DO YOU HAVE THAT BANANA IN YOUR EAR?" The man says, "Sorry, I can't hear you, I'm deaf." (props- Marty Smith)

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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