A drunk guy walks into a bar. A blind man walks into the same bar.

How do you kill a dead baby? You can't, it's already dead.

Why is Osama Bin Laden scared of the dark? To be honest, I don't know, and I doubt you do either. Osama Bin Laden has been a fugitive on America's Top Ten Most Wanted list for over 10 years; there is no way that you could possibly know such personal information about him if the United States government can't even locate him and prosecute him for the heinous crimes he committed against the U.S. Don't ever lie to me again.

A boy with cancer decides to go skydiving for his 18th bithday. Unfortunately, his parchute doesn't work & he dies before he hits the ground.

What did the very inquisitive poor black guy say to the very rich white man at the train station? Nothing, they didn't know each other. And they both had their iPods in. And they were at different train stations. And they were in different countries. And the black guy died 20 years ago.

A man walks into a bakery and buys a doughnut. He then starts to drive home when he realised that he'd forgoten to eat the doughtnut and has to returne to do so.

Suppose an American, an Indian, a dinosaur, and a leprechaun are on a plane together. Which one would be the first to chug a 7 pound bottle of coke? The situation is too unlikely, with the odds of it occurring being less than 1%, therefore the question cannot be answered accurately.

Your mom is so stupid she has trouble holding a steady job and struggles to support her family.

Why did the first koala fall out of the tree? Because it was dead. Why did the second koala fall out of the tree? Because it was stapled to the first koala. Why did the third koala fall out of the tree? Peer pressure. Why did the boy fall off of his bike? He was hit by falling koalas.

Why did the plane crash? The pilot was a WAFFLE!

What's funny about water, food, and shelter? Nothing, those are essential necessities to live your life, unless you have chains attached to your ankles with bricks on the other end and you're thrown in the middle of the ocean with no chance what so ever

What did Britney Spears say when she got to Paris? "Oh my God, we're in France!"

What happened when the man got into the taxi? The driver shot him 17 times in the chest and ran away

Friends are like snowflakes When you pee on them they disappear

whats better then a pile of dead babies? 2 piles of dead babies

Once a upon a time there was a boy whom likes cheese. The boy: I like Cheese and thats the end of the story

Roses are red violets are blue I have altimers cheese on toast Srry bout the spelling. I couldn't REMEMBER!

A cat starts grooming itself How many sprinkles does it take to cover the moon Cabinet because whales live in water

Roses are Black, Violets are Black, I am Ray Charles

Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she is legally blind.

Why did the little boy tell his classmates jokes? To try and fit in for once.

What is green and can hurt your eyes? I don't know, but its definitely not a laser pointer.

Roses are red, Violets are blue, What else is new?

A flea walks into a bar. Nobody notices because it is a very small insect

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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