Why was the boys dick hard? Because he stuck it in a hole in the snow.

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Roses are red violets are blue this is an anti joke so like this

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock knock? Who's there? Not Sally.

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What is the biggest lie in everyone's childhood? "School lunch food is actually good."

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Say this fast: Alpha kenny body sofa king hard with mike hawk. :)

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Your momma is so dumb she'd starve if she were trapped in a fully stocked grocery store. -Actually my mom has a pHD in Nutritional Science. If she were trapped in a fully stocked grocery store, she'd utilize that knowledge to maintain a balanced diet until a way was made available for her to return home.

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What's clear and smells like alcohol? Probably alcohol, genius.

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Whats green and fuzzy and if it fell out of a tree it would kill you? A pool table.

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What's flying and eats rocks? A flying rock eater

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What did the Arab do when he got frustrated? Burned himself

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What does Patrick say? IM PATRICK!!! IM PATRICK PATRICK PATRICK PATRICK PATRICK PATRICK!!!!! PATRICK!!!!!

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What happens when you catch a cold? You sneeze whenever you stand up.

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I told a joke to my friends. They laughed.

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I'm HIV positive.

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Do you like waffles yeah we like waffles do you like pancakes do you like french toast yeah we like french toast dododododod let me get a mouth full. WAFFLES!!!!!!!

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Why did Gary's cat fall from the tree? He didn't use enough gaffa tape.

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Q. What did the mom say to the boy scout? A. He wouldn't be a happy camper.

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Why did the terminal cancer patient die? Because he fell of the stairs with his wheelchair.

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A black guy and a white guy jump out of a tree, who hits the ground first? They both hit at the same time while sustaining minor injuries.

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Your Mother's breasts sag with such severity that the late, great surrealist artist Salvador Dali mistook them for clocks.

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Why did the cat cross the road? To see its mom who was lying dead on the other side

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So a train conductor is going at 70 mph to to a destination 50 miles away. He goes over 3 hills, one at 20 mph, the other 42 mph, and the last at 63 mph. he crosses 2 bridges at 47 mph each. What did the train conductors mom eat for dinner that night Nothing she had cancer and died.

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Why did the little girls ice cream melt? Because she was on fire.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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