A man with ADD walks into a bar, what did he say? Look a squirrel!!!

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What's the difference in a red sports car and a pile of dead babies? I don't have a red sports car in my garage.

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A duck walks into a bar. The large African American male at table three punches the smaller Asian man at the bar because of a long standing and unfulfilled monetary debt. The Asian man procedes to pull out a concealed knife and repeatedly stab his assailant until he is dead. The duck orders several rounds of whiskey due to the fact that it has recently been fired from its job. Later that night, it took its own life.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I suck at poems Nice tits

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An anorexic women walks into McDonalds

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How much wood would a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck would chuck wood? The etymology of the name woodchuck is unrelated to wood or chucking. It stems from an Algonquian (possibly Narragansett) name for the animal, wuchak. The similarity between the words has led to the common tongue-twister that you have just stated.

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What did the elephant say to the other elephant? We're both elephants!

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A family walks into a talent agency. It's a father, mother, son, daughter and dog. The father says to the talent agent, "We have a really amazing act. You should represent us." The agent says, "Sorry, I don't represent family acts. They're a little too cute." The mother says, "Sir, if you just see our act, we know you would want to represent us." The agent says, "OK. OK. I'll take a look." The family performs an array of disgusting sexual acts. For the longest time, the agent just sits in silence. Finally, he manages, "That's a hell of an act. What do you call it?" And the father says, "It has no name."

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Person: kk Person1: did you just kk me? Person: no

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A duck walks into a bar and says, "Have you got any grapes?" The bartender replies "No." The duck then leaves but returns the next day and again asks, "Have you got any grapes?" And again the bartender answers, "No." This happens again the next day and in annoyance the bartender yells, "If you come in tomorrow and ask if I have any grapes, then I will nail your feet to the floor!" The next day the duck came into the bar and asked, "Have you got any nails?" to which the bartender replied, "Yes." The duck then walked out of the bar

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A man and a woman are in a bar. The man says, "Excuse me miss, but you're very attractive, may I please buy you a drink?" to which the woman replies, "Thank you very much, but I'm afraid I've never been to Mexico."

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1,2,3,4,5... 6.

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Why did the Japanese man commit suicide? He was terminally ill and decided it was his time to go

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A man reaches to grab a womans chest and then realizing hes gay, backs off and everyone goes home happy

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Why Jimmy doesn't listen to his mother? Because he's deaf

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What do you call a pig and a ball when u come across both of them? A ball hog!

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Why do black people like fried chicken? Well you see....

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How do you stop a drunk driver? With a minivan and family of four.

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Why wouldn't the baby boy stop crying when the babysitter was in the room? Because he put cigarettes out on him.

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What do you call an elephant and a rhino mixed? Ahellifiknow.

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Michael Jackson's favorite places: Toystore Candy shop Playground Amusment parks Kindergarden classroom Orphanige

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what's worse than than finding a worm up your ass? Death

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knock knock who's there bang bang bang bang who where da cash at

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Yo mom so fat that even Torres won't miss her

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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