Why is Steve Jobs dead, but Bill Gates isn't? Because Bill Gates wasn't diagnosed with Pancreatic Cancer.

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What do you call a person with no arms or legs rolling around in leaves? I don't know that seems like a highly improbable situation

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why did the guy make a deer and and bear mix because he wanted some beer

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What would you do for a Klondike bar? I'd go all the way to the store and buy one.

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a cat and a duck walk into a pub. the cat enters first and says for the duck to put all of their drinks on his bill. the duck(being a duck)says nothing because ducks cannot speak. therefore the cat shouldnt have been speaking either.

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what did the mexican cop say to the mexican drug dealer? can i get some of that

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If an asian man is really angry with a jewish man named gabriel what does he say? Gabriel I am angry with you

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what did the left nut say to the right nut? The guy above us is a real dick huh?

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What do an Eagle and a sugar cube have in common? The fact that if let to disintegrate they both turn slowly to hydrogen after a period of time.

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What do you call a nun who is just walking around? A Roman Catholic

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your mommas so fat because she has diabetes

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Why did Billy cross the road? Because Billy wasn't wearing his seatbelt.

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Whats great about F***ing twenty one year olds? There's twenty of them.

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Adam ci ?mierdz?cy kutas mi sie ya mam

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A man is walking in the desert, alone and lost, when suddenly he finds a lamp. The man picks up the lamp and to his surprise, a genie bursts out of the lamp ! The genie says to the man: "Thank you, kind man! You have freed me from this prison I have been in for a million years. I am in your dept and will grant you three wishes." The man replies: "Wow, you've been in there for a million years and all you have to give me are three wishes?" The genie was really sad to hear of the man's lack of appreciation and flew away, leaving the man. The man eventually died of starvation and dehydration.

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Why did the blind man fail his math test? Because he had been raped and murdered. Going blind is a side effect of death.

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Whats the difference between a Mexican and a bench? A Mexican is a Mexican and a bench is a bench.

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What do you call a 46 year old man with one eye 4'5 and has one arm coming out of his chest Steve

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What's pink fluff? Pink fluff. What's blue fluff? Pink fluff holding it's breath. What's red fluff? Angry pink fluff. Ask me if I'm a truck. Are you a tr-- No. What's green and has wheels? Grass. I was just lying about the wheels. What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding half a worm in your apple, 'cause the other half's in your mouth. What's worse than finding half a worm in your apple? Angry pink fluff. What's worse than angry pink fluff? The holocaust. That's not funny. Stop laughing.

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What did the fat man say when he was offered infinite french fries for life? Yes.

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a mexecan guy walks in a bar he ask how much is a beer.its $400 and 55'.WHAT THATS SUCKSISH.no i just like to joke its 1 dollor.oh.....shut up go walk in a bra!!!!

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Why did the 14 year old girl have sex? Because she's in love with her boyfriend and that's how she expresses it.

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What's the difference between a Mustang and a sack of dead babies? I don't have a sack of dead babies in my garage.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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