- Anti Joke

Your dick is short, If we compare it to mine. That was it, Thank you for your time.

A man walks into a psychiatrists office with a banana in his ear. The psychiatrist says, why do you have that banana in your ear. The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist says, "I said, 'Why do you have that banana in your ear?" The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist shouts, "I SAID, WHY DO YOU HAVE THAT BANANA IN YOUR EAR?" The man says, "Sorry, I can't hear you, I'm deaf."

"Is this the Krusty Krab?" "Yes. What would you like to order?"

A 8 year old kid and his dad are having quality time at the park,and relax at a nearby picnic bench after a thrilling game of tag."I love you." says the son. The father about to respond,promptly gets shot by 3 stray military issue assault rifle bullets that came from a heated dispute about a stolen car that got way out of hand. He dies,and the kid ran crying a long distance away. After he gets himself in a dark alley with nobody else around he laughs,and mutters "The plan went perfectly!" He pulls out a detonator and presses it. The White House,Washington Monument,and several nuclear power plants across the continental United States blow up,killing millions of people.The child,also in possession of nuclear bombs, holds the entire world hostage and becomes ruler of the entire planet Earth. Fin.

A man walks into a bar and notices a twelve inch tall man playing a small piano. He asks the bartender about it. The bartender explains that the pianist has worked there for some time, mostly performing on weeknights. The bartender also tells the man that he may be suffering some vision problems, as the pianist is about 5'8" or 5'9". Some time later the man visits an optometrist and finds out he has a severe case of astigmatism. "Knock Knock." "Who's there?" "Banana." "Banana who?" "Knock Knock." "Who's there?" "Banana." "I already asked ''Banana who?'' Is that your real name? Who is this really?" "Knock Knock." "You are upsetting me. I am calling the police now. Please get off my property."

Why do you never see hippopotamus hiding in trees? They are really good at it.

im the real danny hamilton you stupid asshole

Why was the boys dick hard? Because he stuck it in a hole in the snow.

Roses are red, Violets are blue. A family is tied-up and screaming for help in my basement.

If only i were a man! You not! Your a.... WO-MAN!

Wy did the man fall? A tree fell on his legs!

What did one gothic person say to another gothic person? Nothing. Gothic people only cut themselves.

Why did the little boy cry? I cut off his toes one by one and shoved fireworks up his ass

Why do black people have the whitest teeth? Because they brush regularly.

Who is best known for causing the Mt. St. Helens Eruption, The World Series Earthquake, and The Asian Tsunami in 2004? According to insurance companies, God.

What's worse than stepping on a Lego? Leukemia

Why did the gang jump a man for his blue jeep? Answer The gang wanted a blue jeep.

Roses are red, violets are blue. I know.

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding a dog in your apple

What's funny about a small child with no arms, no legs? Nothing.. Nothing at all.

Three politicians walk into a sports bar. Suddenly, everyone is watching the Stanley Cup playoffs.

What's worse then breaking your xbox? Going on a 24 kill streak and having itchy balls.

A movie trilogy about an alphabet book. A ten minute long movie about a complete lifespan. A 600 pages long book on how to stop procrastination. A two page book about the top 600 award winning pictures. CALL NOW FOR A TELESCOPE INCLUDED! (So you can see the stars and fuck the book altogether) Juggernaut: IM THE JUGGERNAUTBITCH! Me: Hi, mind if I just call you bitch for short? Your life sucks sometimes because Karma is a bitch... ...My bitch ;)

A woman is getting in the shower but the the doorbell rings so she puts on her towel and gets the door a man is there asking for sugar. Then she gets back into the shower then the doorbell rang again so she puts on her towel and anwsers the door another man is there he asked for some batteries she gave him some and went back to the shower. Then she hears the doorbell again she thought since there wasn't anybody else that lived on her street she decided to just go to the door without her towel so she answers the door thinking the blindmans there and it was the police man.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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