How many penguins does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Penguins cannot screw in lightbulbs because they have wings instead of fingers or opposable thumbs, as humans do.

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Please? No.

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Q:What did the scissors say to the paper? A: Nothing, cause thier scissors and paper they don't talk..

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What's better than winning the paraplegic Olympics? Walking.

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How do you get four gay guys to sit on a stool? Ask them kindly to do so. Their sexual orientation is of little to no importance in this situation.

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If there are 2 narwhals and two apples, why is each of the narwhals happy? Because each is a narwhal.

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Why did the first monkey fall out of the tree? He died! Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? He was attached to the first! Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? He thought it was a game! Why did the fridge fall out of the tree? The branch broke! Why did Sally fall off her bike? She got hit by three monkeys and a fridge!

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a burglar walks in a house the alarm goes off and the police come

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man: hey whats that in the corner? Bartender: thatssteve his wife left him and he is trying to drown his saddness is addiction.

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Your Mother

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Penis. (Note: if you get this you have a dirty ass)

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What's the difference between an onion and a baby ? You cry when you cut the onion.

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Tunechi

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Why did the zuccini fly? I was in an acid trip.

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What happened to the guy that got hit by a bus. He died

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Why did the car fall of the cliff? The dude driving the car was driving recklessly.

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What is stupid? I would say you but these jokes are worse.

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A dinosaur is walking down the street. He is soon confronted by a human. The human says to the dinosaur, "Hey, your a dinosaur." Which the dinosaur replies with, "Yes, yes i am." The dinosaur then stands there for a few seconds wondering why he is in the same time period as the human. And as to why a dinosaur would talk.

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whats the difference between a dead dog and a dead black guy on the road? there is skid marks leading up to the dog.

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How much wood would Chuck Wood have if Chuck Wood could have wood? None, Chuck Wood has E.D.

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What did the blonde get for Christmas? A Brain

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I pooped.

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Why did Billy start crying? Because he was abandoned at a young age- and was bullied since childhood in the orphanage.

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How much wood would a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood? Blond answers: Whaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaat............?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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