Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she's dead.

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What did the two doctors say to each other? We are both doctors.

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Why did the plane crash? The pilot was a loaf of bread.

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The Earth is a nice place to live.

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Why is this room orange? Because I painted it orange. You didn't paint it; my mom painted it.

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A Jewish man gets on a train. He sits down and a hour and a half later he is dropped of at his proper destination.

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? Wheres my tractor?

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What did the hispanic man say to the black man? I don't know, if I was listening to their conversation, the would be creepy.

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How do you wake up lady gaga? Poke her face

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Why do Mexicans stink? Because they're Mexican.

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So there's this big ass moose, and he walks into this grocery store, & asks the cashier "which isle are the potatoes in?" the lady replies, "down isle 5." so the moose walks down to isle 5 and there weren't any potatoes!

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How did a baby get across the street? Stapled to a chicken.

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Roses are red, violets are blue, f*** you, f*** you.

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What's the difference between and indian man and a barstool....... indians walked on the moon with a cow named chester.

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whats the difference between a pizza and a Jew?... Never mind, that was a stupid question.

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Q.What do you call a beaver with a unibrow. A. A beaver........it's still a beaver

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What's the difference between Micheal Jackson and a grocery bag? One carries groceries and the other molests children

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Marilyn Manson was walking to church.

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A Man walks into a bar and asks for a shot. The Bartender proceeds to unload a 30 round banana clip into his head, neck, and midsection.

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Your mom is so fat, every time she swims in the ocean, north america sinks because of the high water displacement caused by her giant body mass. (V1-V2=m)

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Why the f*** do so many people ask this question?

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why did spiderman fall off the roof ? cause it was wet

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Why did the little girl cry when she fell off the slide? Because when she fell she hit the dirt ground, cause dust to fly into the air, he eyes started to water in response to keep her eyes from being damaged. The slide however, was taken down, too many children had been hurt while playing on it. The community is now pooling money together in order to build a new playground.

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INSULT- You've got a photographic memory, but the lens cap is on. INSULT- Whatever anyone says to you goes in one ear and out the other because nothing is blocking traffic INSULT- I heard you were born, your father threw rocks at the stork. From- Insults and Putdowns lite

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops