What do you call two lesbians in a canoe? Women.

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? The Holocaust What's worse than The Holocaust? TEN HOLOCAUSTS? What's worse then TEN HOLOCAUSTS? THE END OF THE WORLD

Why did the boy fall off the swing? Because he had no arms.

why did the plane crash? because the pilot was a loaf of bread.

Q: What game will Helen Keller always win? A: Marco Polo. She is a fast swimmer.

why doesn't the werewolf like Ferrari's a werewolf being a mythical creature would most likely not have a preference as to what kind of car he drives because he would not exist

Q: What's worse than your parents dying in a car crash? A: You were in the backseat and saw your mother plead your father to slit her throat witht he broken glass because her legs were brushed and a windshield wiper was shoved in her kidney. As you stared on in pure horror, your father did as she asked with much contemplation. An ambulance arrives moments later. In the hospital, you tell your dad that you hate him for killing mom. You run away and he dies overnight due to heart failure. Yo suffered paralysis and now and are confined to a wheelchair for the rest of your natural life and are sent away to a born-again foster care home where you are never adopted.

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Why, apples are the optimum environment for the worm species, offering a stable temperature with the efficiency of nutrition and comortable value, therefore in reality finding a worm in your apple is a healthy suggestion that the Global Warming effects on Earth have not yet affected the ever increasing innocent worm population.

Whats the difference imbetween a watermelon and a baby? One is fun to hit with a sledge hammer an the other is a watermelon

How do you get really high at home? You climb a ladder

you lose.

Excuse me, do you happen to have the time? No.

Why was the man's foot hot? Because it was stuck in a toaster.

Roses are red, viotels are blue. God made me pretty, what happened to you?

How did the prisoner escape from prison? He asked to leave.

why couldnt the boy get into the pirate movie? he was hit by a mexican telephone server.

How many licks does it take to get to the center of a tootsie pop? -250.

Did you know Helen Keller had a dog? You did?! Oh . . .

a mexican guy and a black guy are in a car, who is driving? the mexican, the black guy is in the passenger seat

How do you make a plumber sad? You murder his family.

What did the two doctors say to each other? We are both doctors.

Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she's dead.

A slutty deer walks into a bar she then comes out and says wow i cant believe i blew 30 bucks

How many Poles does it take to change a lightbulb? Just the one, usually.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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