You know whats worse than getting punched in the face? Getting kicked in the balls.

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This one time at band camp....

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Friends are like trees, They fall down if you hit them several times with an axe.

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Why was the broom late? Cause he overSWEPT!!! ahahahahahaha!

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So there's this crazy married couple in a old trailer down the road. They are both drunk. The man asks his blond wife, ''Isn't it about time we get married?'' The wife replies ''I wouldn't marry a ugly thing like you!'' The next day, they file a divorce.

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What did the mother get her blonde daughter for her birthday? A flower on her tombstone.

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WHAT'S THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN DANII AND SCAFFHOLDING? ONLY ONE STILL HAS A POLE 1 LIKE = 1 TEAR FOR DANII

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What happened when Mary threw a kettle at Daniel? Daniel was scalded in the facial area and was blinded forever.

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Knock knock, Who's there? Pizza hut delivery service, here's your pizza, Thanks.

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Knock knock, Who's there? The police, you have committed 14 major felonies and you are being arrested.

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What did the man without a tongue say...

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I have the answer to why the child stepped on a ball-he was dumb

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Q: What did the Jewish man find when he turned on his shower? A: gas

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How did Barry Bonds break the career homerun record? A combination of natural ability, practice, and a plethora of performance enhancing drugs.

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Want to hear a funny joke? Womens rights.

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What is funnier than 24? 25! hahahahahaha!

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What happens if you roll a nickel down a street in Mexico? It eventually stops and lands on its side.

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-Knock knock -Use the doorbell -Oh... ding dong -Who is it? -Me -Oh -Yeah -Cool -Come in -Okay -Take off your shoes -Alright -How are you? -Good -That's good -Yeah -Okay -K -Oh -Bye -See ya

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What do you say when someone attempts to steal your cheese? Give me my cheese!!!

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I want to name my dog Syndrome. Then, when I teach him to sit, I can say "Down, Syndrome!"

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How do you help a chronic drug addict? Buy him or her more drugs. They NEED it.

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HOLY SHIT BITCH!!!

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If I threw a regular snowball at a random snowman, would my action directly result in the increase of the snowman's size or would it rather have caused to snowball to become substantially larger in succession? Only a few people could answer that question. Not all of us are actually philosophy aficionados after all.

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Why does the man leave the store, with two lemons in his shopping bag? Because lemons happened to be one of the items of food he had purchased.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops