It's Christmas Eve and your entire family is gone for 12 hours to by you presents. What will you do while there gone? By the time you figured out what you will do you will hear a knock at your door. It's the police they are here to tell you your entire family was murdered during a shooting at the mall. The sad part is you will not receive your NEW Beats, your Xbox 1, or your make up.

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Justin Bieber.

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How many Jews can you fit into a car? How ever many seats happen to be available.

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How many pancakes does it take to fill up a doghouse? None, because ice cream doesn't have bones.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It felt like it, no particular reason. Why did the hippo cross the road? Same reason as the chicken. Why did the Fred cross the road? He was with animal control, and a chicken and hippo had just been reported to cross this dangerous stretch of highway.

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A man walks into a bar and orders an alcoholic beverage. The bartender serves him and inquires about the man's day. The man says nothing, drinks his beverage, pays his tab and walks out.

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How do you make a homeless person cry? cut an onion in front of him.

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it smells like up dog in here. whats that?

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what do u say when u see your tv floating in the middle of the night? drop it n*****

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A blind man asked me out last night. I told him I was seeing someone...

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Did you hear about the plane that crashed and killed 1000 people? My sister has cancer.

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Why didn't Superman save the people from 9/11? Because he was a quadriplegic.

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Q-What did the hobo get for Christmas? A-Pneumonia.

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What do you call a black guy driving a plane? A co-pilot

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what is red and lies on the floor? the boy that jumped out of the plane

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Where did the taxi driver put his suitcase down? celery

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What's white and sticky? A white stick.

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What has four legs, yet it can't walk? A dead horse.

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Guy #1: Knock knock Guy #2: Whos there? Guy #1: Interrupting murderer Guy #2: Interrupting murd.... Guy #1: STAB!!!

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knock knock who's there? orange orange who? orang you glad i didn't say knock knock agian

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Knock Knock .... Knock Knock .... Pum Pum Pum .... LAPD! open the door!

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what do u call something black and hanging from a tree.............................. a black guy

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What's the difference between a mexican and a park bench? One is a minority whose ancestors originally lived in the central american country of Mexico, the other is a useful convenience that provides a place to rest one's legs in a public place.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Come in.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops