When life gives you lemons, make grape juice, then watch the world as they wonder how you did it

thumb_up thumb_down -2

why was the black man forced to sit at the back of the bus ? it was a busy day.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Spoiling your fun. Jesus said on the cross, I shall return. Then he returned three days later to say goodbye to his people. Moral: What the fuck are you Åsshats waiting for? The third coming?

thumb_up thumb_down -2

When is it okay for priests to touch underage boys? Ash Wednesday, they have place ash using their hands on the boys foreheads.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

How do you stop a clown from smiling? Hit it with an axe!

thumb_up thumb_down -2

HURT

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Stephen Walking hawks into a bar.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

What do you get when you cross a spoon and a fork? A spoon crossed with a fork.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

what do you call a black man with a job? dont know, has never happened.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

What is an emulation? I am not as stupid as I seem by the way, I am just a bit shaky myself, but don't you worry i will answer whatever you need,

thumb_up thumb_down -2

roses are red violets are blue i'm not a? poet microwave

thumb_up thumb_down -2

You heard about that piece of shit that says no all the time? Yes, I bet you haven't though. no.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

What's worse than farting in a silent class room? Denying it and farting a second time.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

what"s short , has a tail , and is amazing ? maddy cartwright i lied about the tail!

thumb_up thumb_down -2

How many Jews can you fit into a 1968 Caddy? 1 in the front, 2 in the back, and 200 in the ash tray.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Why did Jimmy cross the road? Because a chicken was about to cross the road, and he wanted to be kind and help the old 72-aged chicken get across the road. Because Jimmy had a grandfather that passed away because he was too old and nobody helped him cross the road. Jimmy is haunted by that memory and doesn't want that to happen to anyone else. Especially a chicken.... Also there were no cars and his best friend chicken was on the other side waiting for him.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Q: What did the Goth-Punk girl write on her test for the question "What are three kinds of rock?" A: Igneous, Sedimentary, & Metamorphic, She is a 4.0 Geology Major attending a respectable University. She simply chooses to express herself through the musical and clothing trends that emerged in 1970's English underground music. In reality it her personal preferences in the aforementioned areas have no bearing on her intellectual or academic standing.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Knock Knock Who's there? Knock Knock I said, who's there? KNOCK KNOCK OH MY GOD, WHO IS IT??? Yes, we have your daughter here, she was caught doing drugs on school property.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

An Asian man, a black man, and a gay man walk into a bar. They all buy the same drink, are charged the same price and say " We are all equal! " They then continue on with their days normaly.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Who would win in a chess duel between Ender Wiggin and Artemis Fowl? Artemis Fowl will calculate the optimal path to move his pieces. Ender Wiggin will calculate the optimal path to kill the queen, so all the other pieces just sort of fall down.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

69

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Whats the difference between an Irish wedding and an Irish funeral?? Theres one less drunk.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

A Palestinian woman asks a man for directions. She is promptly stoned to death.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

What did the Arab do when he got frustrated? Burned himself

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops