A man walked into a bar, he was meeting his friends but was half an hour early, so he went down the road and got a burger. He had recently began dieting to maintain a healthy weight, but had trouble with self control. 30 years later he would gamble away his family's life savings and then go onto live a long and unfulfilled life.

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Why did the boy laugh? Because someone told him a joke.

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Yeah, and speaking about spiderman, I got some weird senses, when I get stressed things begin seeming slower, and gets a weird blur effect, not sure what it is, but if you know what "bullet hell video games are" Technically games where you play as a tiny spaceship and lots of bullets fly around, I was always awesome at those games as a kid, because the more stress I felt while playing, the slower my perception of time felt.

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your mom is so ugly when she entered an ugly contest they said... ok

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What did the sniper say when a newsreporter asked what he felt when he shot a terrorist? The sniper replied: Recoil.

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If a guy has a sex change what is the first thing he would say? Boobies!

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What looks like donuts but stinks of shit. Sean Big Macs socks

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A man comes home to find his wife sleeping with another woman. He molests them both.

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Where do you go when you die? Nowhere

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What did batman say to robin before they got in the car? Get in the car

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Whats long and black? The unemployment line

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Why did the housewife become a farmer? Because the kitchen was burned down in a horrific accident.

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an irishman gets on facebook...he has 7 friend request

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A man throws a penny off of a cliff. He is now one cent poorer

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Why is 6 afraid of 7 Because 7 murdered her little sister

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What did Steven Hawking get for Christmas? ------ ------ ------ A bike.

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Why is 6 afraid of 7? This is 7, if you do everything I say, 6 will live.

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men's rights.

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Nope, but yeah Felix looks a lot like Mickey Mouse, I think, nah it was Oswald the Lucky rabbit I believe, and he used to get his ass kicked by... Damn, what`s the name of the fat cat that beat up Mickey in steamboat willie?

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Why is my room black and white? Because your in a black and white movie.

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What did the snowman put on his head? Nothing; snowmen are inanimate.

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This little pig went to market, This little pig stayed at home, This little pig had pork chops, And this little pig was GONE...

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Why can't Helen Keller drive a car? Because she's a woman.

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What's worse than breaking your leg and not being able to walk? Breaking your neck because you will most likely not be able to walk from the high probability of being paralyzed for the rest of your life.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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