you and your family will die tonight

thumb_up thumb_down -18

How dead people are in a graveyard? All of them

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Who lives on 2324 Elm St. River Grove Illinois? And Goes to East Leyden High School? The answer is Ricky Krajewski. He is 16 years old has brown hair and brown eyes. 5'11" 190lbs and 6.5 inch penis(when erect). social security # is 679-78-6283.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

why was it funny that the boy got hairspray for christmas because he had leukemia

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Why couldn't the pirate get into the movie? Because he was armed and clearly inebriated.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Why can't Hellen Keller drive? Because she is blind, deaf, and dead.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

why did Rebecca black get down on Fridays? because she had school every other day of the week.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

A dolphin walks into a bar. Dolphins do not have legs therefore this is physically impossible.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

A black man and a Mexican are in a car. Who's driving? The cop. The two men were best friends who had taken off from their law firm. Alex had recently gone through a divorce and John decided to take him on a trip backpacking across Europe. It started raining and an off-duty police officer picked them up and took them to a nearby hotel. The three men had drinks and the friends had a wonderful time. But Alex never got over Jenny leaving him. 3 months later John found him dead in his home by auto-erotic asphyxiation.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

THE END.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Why did the bunny cross the road? It didn't, It was hit by a truck...

thumb_up thumb_down -20

purple pickles

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Why was timmy in the well? He had autism.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

what do you get when you cross a giraffe and an octopus an abomination

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Why did Sally fall off the swing? She had no arms Knock knock Who's there? Certainly not Sally

thumb_up thumb_down -20

What's the difference between a tigar and a shark? One's a land mammal.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

what happens every day? People die

thumb_up thumb_down -20

What do you do after a murder kills your entire family? Nothing, he killed you too

thumb_up thumb_down -20

what did hayley say to missy last night? I'm tired bye

thumb_up thumb_down -22

What do Tiger Woods and Charlie Sheen have in common? They are both celebrities.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Q:What's red and hurts your teeth? A:A brick

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Why did the chicken cross the road? Becuase as a chicken its intulect this very low so walking in the middle of the street was it's 1st instest. Ther'for it crossed the road and made it to the other side safe. Now please don't ask me a stupid question like that again.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

A military serviceman returns home from a tour of duty to find his wife in bed with another man. He feels betrayed and files for divorce, then later meets a more faithful woman with whom he has a more fulfilling relationship.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Violets are blue, Roses are red. The sentence before was completely irrelevant, but I needed something to say before I tell you, Your family's been murdered by the KKK.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops