What did the hobo say while giving birth? bob come over here and hold my third leg for me??

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Whats the difference between a jew and a pizza? You eat a pizza.

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a man said hi.

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How many dead babies does it take to paint the side of a building? I don't know, it depends on how hard you throw them.

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What do you get when you cross professor plum with a candle stick in the library? A dead prostitute. Try and be more careful next time.

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How do you make a little girl laugh. You tell her something funny.

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What is the most common cause of pedophilia? Sexy kids.

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sometimes i put my hands on the floor tuck my head into my cheat and lean forward... because thats how i roll

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your mama is so greasy she should go take a bath

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? Where's my tractor?

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Why did the man tell the other man to shut up? The other man said something that made this particular man mad which drove him to tell the other man to shut up.

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A man goes to an amusement park. He heads straight for the roller-coaster and gets in line. When he gets to the front, the ride operator informs him that he is too short to ride. "You must be at least 48 inches, sir, you just barely miss the mark, I'm sorry, I can't let you ride." The man is sad, but he doesn't let this little discrepancy ruin his day. He then gets in line for a different ride.

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How do you make a blond shut up? Staple her tongue to the roof of her mouth and super-glue her lips together.

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Whis a racist rapist etter than a non-racist rapist? less women getting raped

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Two muffins were in an oven. One muffin said "Wow, its hot in here." The other muffin said "Oh my gosh a talking muffin!" The house burnt down because the oven created a fire.

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What's worse than 12 dead babies in one trash can? 1 dead baby in 12 trash cans.

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What is worse than standing on a plug? finding out your family have all been killen in a horrible car crash and your neighbours daughter who happens to be your friend has cancer.

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an ant walks into my aunt.... the ant took a dump

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Wanna know something funny? Your face

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why did the chicken cross the road he didnt he was hit by a van

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What did cancer get for Christmas? Another 6 year old boy

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Where did Sheyanne go during the bombing...... Everywhere

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My mother forgot to make me a sandwich today.

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A couple was arguing about how the man was cheating and he was in "The Doghouse". There clever son pointed out that they didn't own a dog.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops