Whys the Elephant afraid of the mouse? i dont know im not an Zoologist

Q: What's the worst part of 3 Mexicans dying in a car accident? A: They were my friends.

knock, knock who's there owls owls who thats right owls who

Who took the last can of soda? I dunno.

What's worse than a worm in your apple? The holocaust What's worse than the holocaust? Two worms in you apple what worse than 2 worms in your apple? Two holocausts

whats red with blue spots and is highly inteligent? an apple. i lied to you and am sorry

A woman is getting in the shower but the the doorbell rings so she puts on her towel and gets the door a man is there asking for sugar. Then she gets back into the shower then the doorbell rang again so she puts on her towel and anwsers the door another man is there he asked for some batteries she gave him some and went back to the shower. Then she hears the doorbell again she thought since there wasn't anybody else that lived on her street she decided to just go to the door without her towel so she answers the door thinking the blindmans there and it was the police man.

So a jelly bean walks into a bar. The bartender asks him "whatchuu doin here jelly bean" the jelly bean doesn't respond and sits there awkwardly because he neither speaks English nor has the brain capacity to move or breathe. The bartender closes the store and comes back the next day to find the bean in the same awkward position.

A man walks into a psychiatrists office with a banana in his ear. The psychiatrist says, why do you have that banana in your ear? The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist shouts, "I SAID, WHY DO YOU HAVE THAT BANANA IN YOUR EAR?" The man says, "Sorry, I can't hear you, I'm deaf."

Roses are blue Violets are green I have issues, What should I do?

Why did the chicken cross the road? His sons funeral was on the other side.

There are 100 men enjoying a cruise to celebrate an important contract going through at their place of employment. The boat then suffers a major malfunction and tragically sinks to the bottom of the ocean, miles from any land masses. Not a single man died, how is this possible? They all used the lifeboats supplied on the boat and followed the standard procedure to deal with such a crisis.

How many babies does it take to paint a wall red? Well babies don't have the strength or coordination to hold a paint brush, so you may need to call some painters.

Why can't you fly? Cause Ruddell says so.

How did the blonde die? Frogs teleported from the future and brutally murdered her with forks.

david your girlfriend has a nice ass

Why did the black man get pulled over by a cop? He was driving 12 miles over the speed limit.

How many immature people does it take to screw in a lightbulb? 69

Why can't black people swim? Cause poop don't float!

People used to throw rocks at whores. Now they're throwing wood. *Hint. Hint.*

Why did my mom smell bad. Because she is a corpse and has been dead for some days now

Yo momma so Fat that she got picked for the Olympic Swim Team

What mother loved her son so much, she gave him a scar on his forehead for it? Lily Potter.

Nyan cat had pancakes for breakfast.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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