My two friends Larry and Paul are both race horses. They were getting ready for a big race to quolify them for the Kentucky durby. BANG! The race started! What. Close race! First it was Larry then Paul then Larry then Paul! And finally Larry came out and won it! Paul went to the winners circle and congratulated Larry. He said "hey great job Larry but next time after you come back from touring will you let me win?" Larry says "oh! Of course this couldn't get between us! We're like two peas in a pod. Closer then bread in a basket. We're best friends"... So when he came back from touring Larry said it was great! And promised let Paul win. BANG the race started! It was Paul then Larry then Paul then Larry won again. Paul was a little mad that he he didn't win but he went to congratulate larry anyway. Larry said next time he was deffinetly going to let Paul win, because he wasn't gonna let this get between them because they are two peas in a pod. Closer then bread in a basket, they are best friends. Then after Larry came back from touring he promised again he would let Paul win. BANG! The race started and it was Paul then Larry! Then Paul! Larry! Paul! Then larry won. Paul at this point furious went to the winners circle. He talked to Larry "Larry why didn't you let me win for the third time!? This is just your ego trying to win every time now!?" I didn't want them to fight so I chimed in "Larry, Paul! Please don't fight! Your two peas in a pod! Closer then bread in a basket! Your best friends!! You don't want to fight like this!" Larry turned to Paul and said "Hey look! A talking dog!"

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How did the black man cross the road after 5 years of trying to and getting hit by cars every time? some1 put KFC on the other side. MrBounty44

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i like my women like i like my coffee without a penis

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A sad-looking man entered a bar. The barman asked, "why so sad?" The man replied, "I have a terminal illness."

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Why did the man fall down? Because he was pushed of a 5 story building

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Q. What is small, ugly and severely asthmatic? A. My younger brother. Jimmy.

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What do you call a dog with no legs? It doesn't matter, he can't come anyway.

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How old are you? 20

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Why was the man thought to be peculiar? Because he had sex with a pistachio.

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What is the least racist animal? A panda. It's black, white and Asian.

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Roses are black, violets are black. I'm blind.

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What did one Stoner say to the other? "I'm hungry, let's order pizza."

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How did the man drown the fish? He ate it.

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Me: Want to hear a funny joke? Person: What? Me: Women's Right.

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There once was a man from Nantucket. He's dead now.

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What starts with "m" and rhymes with monkey? Platypus

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Why was six afraid of seven? Because seven raped and murdered eight's family.

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How did the gay guy greet the other gay guy? Nice to meet you.

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Why did the bus crash? What, you were expecting an answer? I was asking you

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Miranda Cosgrove's singing career. ......Thats it. Thats the joke.

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Q: wanna hear a racist joke? A: sure RB: You're pathetic!

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Why did carly drop her groceries Carly is a cow

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Why did the girl fall off her bike? she got a fridge thrown at her

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what is a present you would give a werewolves? I said... OBAMA!!! tee hee

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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