- Anti Joke

A women frantically calls the doctor and says, " Doctor, doctor, give me the news! I have a bad case of loving you."

What is black and blue and really is not in the mood for sex? The new girl at the women's shelter.

All your base are belong to us. Shame on you for making fun of the Japanese. They can't help their broken English sometimes. How would you like it if someone were to nitpick about every single word you typed? Yeah, bet you wouldn't like that, would you? Would it make you feel a bit more guilty to know these people suffered through a horrible earthquake and tsunami - and still managed to survive? Huh? Or that they continue to outshine most other countries in the world in the field of high-technology? Sure, maybe they DID blow up Pearl Harbor in 1941 and send us reeling into another World War. Everyone makes mistakes. Based on the past, "All your base are belong to us" seems pretty trivial now, doesn't it? Go apologize to a Japanese man right now, and never speak of this again.

Why did the pumpkin stop using the jack hammer? Pumpkins cannot use power tools since they are nothing but orange gourds. But, [for sport] say this ‘pumpkin’ was incarnate; one could assume he was done with his demolition work. He then would return the portable drill to the rental facility and get his deposit back.

So there are two skunks in a bath tub. One of the skunks says to the other, "Would you please pass the soap?", and the other skunk says, "What do you think I am, a talking radio?!"

Your mom's your dad's wife. Except when she's not.

Roses are red. Violets are red. I have a gun. What did i do?

Why did the chicken cross the road? The chicken would greatly appreciate it if you stayed out of its personal life.

What's brown and rhymes with Snoop? Dr. Dre.

Lady wanna go out sometime? Im not lesbian girl! Im not a girl... OUCHIE!

Could switching to Geico really save you 15% or more on car insurance? Yes.

Why did the boy drop his ice-cream? It fell.

What's the cookie monster's favorite kind of cookie? Oreos

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops

Did u hear about the fire at the circus? 12 people died.

Eats shoots and leaves Pandas. If you can't figure this out then you're probably 12

When im invisible you cant see me, i know

What's the hardest part about eating a vegetable? The wheelchair.

wanna no wats not funny........ aids

I really don't care how you dress at my funeral, I'll be dead!

Q: What's long and gray and kills people? A: A gas pipe.

knock knock, Whos there ?? Johnny. Come in fish.

How do you get a Virginia graduate off of your porch? Pay him for the pizza

How do you get a blind man out of a tree? Yes.

What do you get when you mix red and blue? Gang violence.