How do you give a women more freedom? Shoot her in the face with a shotgun.

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brandon ya twwat

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Knock Knock Whos there? It's me Ben. You just told me to come over. We are going jogging aren' we? Oh ya, sorry. I forgot the time. Is it cold out? Ya, it is pretty cold. You should bring a jacket. Ok, let me go get my jacket. Alright, can u grab me a water please? Ya sure. Thankyou.

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Did you hear about the absent minded professor that tried to change the tire on his pickup truck? He forgot to lock the jack and the truck crushed his head like and egg shell.

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Why didn't the parakeet eat my diarrhea? I already ate it.

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My grandmother always said "slow and steady wins the race."...... She died in a fire

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Roses are red Here's something new Violets are violet NOT F**KING BLUE

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When will racism end? When everyone's dead.

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How do you wake up lady gaga? First you simply whisper in her ear telling her to wake up. If she doesn't, simultaneously whisper and tap her gently. If you have failed to achieve your accomplished goal, repeat step two however intensely touch her and project your voice when telling her to wake up. Step three, get a... WAIT WAIT!! I just waisted 20 seconds of your life, you're never going to meet her.

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Why is your dad gay? Because he takes an enjoyment in a mans dick

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A blonde walks into a bar. She is rushed to the hospital and treated for a broken nose and a busted lip. She now has a deformed nose.

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What's clear and wet? water

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what do the Holocaust and Jeff Dunham have in common? they're both hilarious

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What's the difference between a taxidermist and an astronomer ? They have a different job.

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Whats the difference between Steven Hawkin and Gary Glitter? Ones severely disabled and ones a paedophile.

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What did the sushi say to the bee? Nothing, a piece of sushi can't talk and a bee wouldn't listen, stupid.

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An irish man walks out of a bar

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Why did Susan fall out a tree? She had no arms. Knock, knock. Who's there? Not Susan

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What does Spiderman do everyday? Aunt May

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How do you fit 3 squirtles two bulbasors and a charmander in a smart car You poke em on

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I wonder if barrack Obama will rename the whitehouse...to the blue house because it is his favorite color

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a cucumber

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My grandpa asked me a very important question right before he kicked the bucket. Grandpa: Son, how far do you think I could kick this bucket?

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Q. Why doesn't Michael Jackson like toast? A. Because he's dead.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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