What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding a pressure-sensitive explosive device.

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whats the difference between a pizza and a Jew?... Never mind, that was a stupid question.

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Why did Suzie fall off the swing? She had no arms. Why couldnt she get up? She had no legs. Knock Knock. Whos There? Not Suzie

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What's red and hurts your teeth. Answer: a brick

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What did the girl say to the mute? "Why are you so quiet?" How did the mute respond? He flipped her off.

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How much wood would a woodchuck chu... Forget this, this is overused.

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how do you get a clown off a swing??? hit him in the back with an ax!

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what's white and sticky? mayonnaise.

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What did the guy who dropped his iPhone do? He went out and bought a knew one.

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I like colin but not as much as apple

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What is the difference between Santa and a Jew? Santa is a fictional character used to represent Christmas, Jews celebrate Hanukkah.

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1: Ask if I'm a truck. 2: Uh... Are you a truck. 1: No.

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What kind of bread makes pickles? Dill Dough

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because Osama Bin Laden is dead.

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Why were The Beatles so popular? People across the world enjoyed their music.

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A: Hey ask me if Im a fire truck? B: Are you a Fire Truck? A: No why would you ask that?

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whats red with blue spots and is highly inteligent? an apple. i lied to you and am sorry

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Yo momma so Fat that she got picked for the Olympic Swim Team

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Whats the greatest part of buttsex the refrigerators

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you know what ice cream's made out of, right? milk.

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You know I can, and I already have, as once the mind knows its getting certain medications, it spends the energy required in order to achieve the effect, this is what psychiatrists and those assholes would call "psychological effect". With that said, I am still tired, and the stimulants are waking up my ouchies too, so I think ill get some sleep and dont worry, I can sleep with any stimulants as long as I can use my mind. By the way, my "hypnosis senses" are not hypnosis by themselves, but in order to hypnotize oneself and other, one must learn to read body language and stuff like that, something which I now do subconciously because I am experienced. Alice is calm again, her hands are shaking but she is cold, I am pretty sure she is far more tired than I am, so I kinda ordered her to go home, this guy can type for me. Just want you to know that I am doing fine now, and that the PTSD is much less severe than before as my brain no longer remembers the voice and looks my parents had back then, so I just feel my nose getting punched and breaking, its... Surprisingly annoying, so ill get some sleep, if nothing else it will help Alice get better, and I wont lie, I need it.

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if bob has 400 pieces of chocolate and eats 200 chocolates how many does he have left. none he died from diabetes

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roses are red violets are blue you know what? im sick and tired of this joke.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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