A baby seal walks into a club. I happens to be that the club is having their bi-annual PETA meeting, and the baby seal is chosen as the organization's new mascot. After touring the nation and meeting important world leaders, the baby seal still wonders why there was a club at the North Pole.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was dead.

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What's Worse Than Unripened Fruit? Crippling Depression.

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Did you hear about the Polish Helicopter crash? The pilot and three passengers died.

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So two clowns walk into a bar... . . . . . . . . . . They died

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Why did the baby fall out the window? Because the parents left the window open by the crib.

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whats the difference between a jew and a pizza? A: a pizza is a food that was created in italy and is regularly eaten daily around the world and a jew is a religion that is constantly criticized and made fun of because they are different.

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What is a person who can hold there breath for an hour? Dead

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Roses are red, Violets are blue. Some poems rhyme, but this one doesn't.

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What do a black man and an apple have in common? They are both carbon based life forms.

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How do you burn a lot of calories? Set a fat kid on fire.

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Why does Reid always have a blank stare on his face? Because he is constantly searching for the answer as to why his sister was raped, stabbed, and burned alive all right in front of his face.

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In that case you are probably a bit of an outcast as most girls of your beauty are, you know, you are that kind of girl that feels weird because when she got/gets on the buss EVERYONE stares at her, but nobody dares to say anything, right? And when you are hanging out for a drink or something guys stare at you, and go like "nah" which means "Nah she is too good to want me" and starts hitting on your friends instead. Oh and you also get a lot of rude comments from guys "auto disqualifying themselves" like using complements they know will backfire like "Hey wanna fuck sugart1ts? They do this so they can go home with their ego intact thinking "Hey I was tough enough to hit on her, but she turned out to be a bitch! So does any of this sound familiar?

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What's faster than a Jew running after a penny? A car.

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What did the farmer say when he couldn't find his tractor? Where's my tractor?

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What do you call a guy who can't get a girlfriend? Me.

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Dave: My wife just gave birth! The baby is doing good. John: You mean doing well?

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how do you stop a speeding vehicle? throw a refrigerator at it.

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Why are there so many black basketball players? Because they aren't green.

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How many Jews can you fit in a car? I don't know it really depends on the car, usually about 2 in the front, 3 in the back and... That's about it

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Your family is dead, I killed them.

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How do you upset an Mexican? Kill his entire family.

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Doris was putting up Christmas lights when he noticed the bulb's suddenly came on. He was puzzled at first, as he hadn't plugged them in. He climbed down the ladder and found that it was his son, Robby who had plugged the lights in.

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How do you stop a clown from laughing? Hit him in the face with an ax.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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