What did the table say to the human? Nothing, tables don't talk.

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A monkey and his owner walk into a bar they sit down at the bar... I dont know the rest of the joke but your moms a whore

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What happened to the man who had the most loving parents and family when he was born, had an amazing childhood which he shared with so many good friends, was loved everywhere, helped the poor, started a fundraiser for starving kids in africa, got a college education, helped a complete stranger get off his drug addiction, married a beautiful woman, bought a nice house and had 3 children who he loved dearly and spent time with as much as he possibly could, tucked them in every night and enjoyed every second of his life as if it was his last? He died.

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You're flying above the Kansas Ocean, you lose your brakes and have to paddle all the way to shore. How many dogs can you fit on a carousel? Blue, because Ice Cream is cold.

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Why does a black man have a bicycle? He bought it with his own money.

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Chuck Norris can count from 1 to 100... twice!

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What really puts a kick into both my life and the lives of others around me? My leg(s) of which recieves messages from a sophisticated bundle of "wires" in my cranium that enables it to act at all.

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Why did the boy rip out all of his hair? He was insane.

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out of your comfort zone

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Train A leaves the station at 1:42 while traveling in 176kmh. How long will it take for the conductor to realize the bridge it ou... Too long.

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5

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bees knees

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What is the hardest part of a vegetable? The wheelchair.

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How many dead babies can you fit in a drawer? 10 25* *if you use a blender

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A black man and a mexican are in a car. Who is driving? The black man.

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Why did the monKey fall out of the tree? He died Why did the other monkey fall out of the tree? He was stapled to the first one

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If i had a dollar for every time Lindsay Lohan Crashed a vehicle......i would be rich

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Chuck Norris doesn't call the wrong number. He calls the right number.

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Why did Billy cross the road? Because Billy wasn't wearing his seatbelt.

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what did the mushroom say to the other mushroom? nothing, mushrooms can't talk

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What did the blonde do when her car broke down? Made a Facebook status about then called animal control.

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Why are black people so good at basketball because they can jump shoot and steel

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Roses are red, Violets are purple, nothing rhymes with purple.

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Roses are red Violets are blue The more you know

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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