Did you hear about the new pirate movie? It was rated PG-13.

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What's the difference between a black man and a Jew? Their ancestral heritage

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How do you make an electrician fall over? You hit him hard with a lamp

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what do you call a rat with wings? an evolutionary masterpiece

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Your Momma's so ugly, she went to the grocery store, and went she got out of her car, people said, "You're ugly."

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People made fun of a plant for walking into a bar. Little did they know it hadn't been watered for days.

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Nippies

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Boy: "Mom, I don't want to walk in circles anymore." Mother: "Shut up or I'll nail your other foot to the ground."

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What is 0% sugar, 100% pure, 150% hyperbole, 90% bug-free, has 4815162342 lines of code, autonomous, is awesome, bigger than a breadbox, bread is pain, is bringin' home the bacon, classy, doesn't use the U-word, deja vu, deja vu (oh wait a moment), does barrel rolls doesn't avoid double negatives, doesn't bother with clones, Engage!, Enhanced!, Euclidean!, Excitement!, Exploding creepers, Finally complete!, finger-licking, full of stars, funky LOL, GOTY, Give Us Gordon, Indev, Ingots, and has an End? Minecraft!

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Yo mama so fat, she should see a doctor to discuss healthier lifestyles.

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Why did YUR MOM cross the road? To go slap her annoying-ass twelve year old for using "your mom" as an insult.

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Whats white and sticky and falls from the sky? The Cumming of the lord

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Why did Jimmy drop his ice cream? He was hit by a truck.

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call me a bitch You're a bitch Only bitches do what they are told!

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The grandfather's grandson said, "They charged me $10 just for a cup of coffee!" The grandfather said, "They charged me with bayonets."

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Not the Twin Towers.

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where does a person with one leg work? anywere

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Why did little Susie fall off the swing? Because she fell out the window and landed in soot.

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Who enjoys hearty wank sessions with friends and long walks on the beach? David Cameron.

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Why did the little boy have to go to the hospital? He dropped his ice cream. Why did he drop his ice cream? He got hit by a train.

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What's brown and sticky? Shit

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Why do people eat babies? Because they're delicious.

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What did Batman say to Robin before he got in the car> "Get in the car."

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What is Soulja Boy's favorite letter? I don't know. You go ask him.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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