DESERT

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I love results day! for every A* I get 30 pounds! everything else I cut myself.

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Your mumma is so fat she was mistaken for an opera singer in a quite awkward confrontation. she was embarrassed and walked out crying

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Billy and Jeff wanted to go on an adventure so they planned a safari in Africa. Everything was going as planned until they were in a sticky situation: whether to cross a narrow bridge above the crocodiles or not. Billy tells Jeff "Hey whats the worst thing that can happen?" Jeff was diagnosed with cancer and died the next morning.

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ahhh finally removed the splinter I've had for quite some time now. Hopefully that was the last one I'll get for a while...touch wood

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What is the best way to put out a fire? Stop, drop and have an 0rgy.

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your momma is so stupid it took her 2 hours to watch 60 minutes

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What do you call a black man with a PhD and loving family? A nigger

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What rhymes with orange? Somalia.

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what do you call a grown man who sticks food up his nose? retarded

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Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: Because he was forced, along with thousands of his poultry counterparts, on a march to meet their imminent death at a mass slaughterhouse. Upon being beheaded and processed, the meaty corpse was delivered to a local grocery store and cooked into a wholesome family dinner.

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How did little Timmy die? He was ripped to shreds by a violent badger.

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There's my tractor.

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How many kids with A.D.D. does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Wanna go for a bike ride?

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Wh did Steve Jobs invent the iPhone? Because he was smart.

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Why do blondes where pigtails? Because they look nice.

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A black man, a Asian, and a Jew fell into a pit and because of a lack of water they all died.

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What didnt rebecca black do today ride the bus

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Why can't vegetarians eat mushrooms because I can't urinate over a scotch bonnet :/

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What do a woman and a female dog have in common? They were both annoying so I put them down.

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Ed Milliband looks like an amphibian.

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Luck is not real. But the dismembered body in my basement is.

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Do you know mirror has 6 letters and half of then are r's?

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Where did Suzie go during the bombing? Everywhere

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops