What did the Lightning Bolt say to the Thunder Cloud? WATTSup?

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matt f stupid because no one likes him

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What's clear and wet? water

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There once was a man from nantucket. But he moved to California after he won the State lottery.

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I see said the blind man to his def wife as the dog with no legs ran over

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Knock Knock? Who's There? Not a Jehovah's Witness, let me in!

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What did the chicken say to the dog? Well, since chickens can't talk, they both stood there in an awkward silence.

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Why did the blonde get fired from the M&Ms factory? Because she slapped the boss when he made a pass at her. Afterwhich she reported the incident to her Union and the boss was fired for Sexual Harassment. She was then rehired with a substantial increase in salary.

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How do you stop a black kid from bouncing on the bed? Put Velcro on the cealing.

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whats black and white and red all over????? a zebra who got shot

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Whats your name? Bill. I have a son named Kevin.

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one day 2 strawberrys walked to the ice cream store and ordered a small cup of banana ice cream they were realley happy they were later taken in and tortured and raped

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why is a bad joke like a dull pencil? cuz thers no point!!!!

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How do you get an Asian man to build you a computer? Pay him a reasonable amount of money

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My mom gave me a quarter. I tryed to spend it on bubblegum but 7-11 said no...

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Dad what does negligence mean? SHUT THE FUCK UP KID! I TOLD YOU TO NEVER SPEAK TO ME AGAIN!

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because the road was clear of oncoming traffic.

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Q. If Kim Kardashian and Kanye West were both drowning, what kind would you make? A. PBJ

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If pro is the opposite of con, then what is the opposite of progress? Digress

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three men get stranded on a island and cannibals find them and they say go find 3 fruits and come back. first guy comes back with three apples and they say we will shuve them in your rectum and if you scream we will kill you he screams he dies. second guy comes back with grapes and he laughs before they can start. and in heaven the first guy says why did you laugh and he says there voices are funny.

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How many babies does it take to paint a wall red? Well babies don't have the strength or coordination to hold a paint brush, so you may need to call some painters.

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What is white and stands in the corner? A refridgerator who has been very bad...

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If a tree falls in the woods and no one is around to hear it does it make a sound? I don't know... Does the deaf woman locked in my basement?

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Jon has 50 chocolate candy bars Jon eats 45 of them. What does Jon have? Diabetes...

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops